I'm in the middle or removing everything from my living room so the floors can be refinished tomorrow. Taking all my books and "stuff" and putting them in another room is a tedious process so I thought I'd stop a minute and write since I haven't blogged in a while.
I have a house full of "stuff" but the most important things in it are (1)my photographs, (2)my books, (3)my journals and files and my Wizzie. Other than that, the rest could go away and I would hardly care. Sometimes I wish I could sell everything (or give it away), put the aforementioned items in storage and get into my car and hit the road.
Where would I go? I know my car would automatically head west because that's where my soul yearns to be and even more specifically, in the Bay area. What would I do once I got there? Good question. Sometimes the "trip" is more exciting than the "getting there" because it's all about anticipation. A long walk on the beach would be first up for me and feeling the course sand under my feet, the fog and wind on my face and the roar of the ocean ringing in my ears. When I am at the beach, I am more aware of being one with God and one with all. Perhaps that is what I most long for and the beach is where I most feel it. Some feel it more in the mountains or the desert but for me, it will always be the beach.
I'm contemplating a return to school. It's been a life long dream to "finish up." It's one of those things that's "hanging out there" unfinished in this lifetime and I am feeling a strong urge to complete it and have more tools for writing and more knowledge and confidence to write. I've been writing most of my life and keeping journals and reading, reading, reading and I've several books in the works that are also "hanging out there." I'd like to leave something of value that will make my children and grandchildren proud of me but mostly, I'd like to do it for myself.
In moving some of my books to another room, Wayne Dyer's "Real Magic" fell onto the floor. Ah, a sign, I think. It's about "Creating Miracles in Everyday Life." Finishing school is a miracle I think I could create. It would be a miracle, too, for more reasons than one. Ah, but that's a story for another day and I have only a few more moments to write.
As I sit here at 12:20pm on Sunday, from my window I can see a sky filled with dark clouds and I know the rain is ready to fall. On my back deck are half eaten pecans that fall from the pecan tree over my deck as the squirrels munch and toss the bits of shells onto my porch. I've become accustomed now to the sound of falling pecans and in the front yard is a black walnut tree that drops golf ball sized nuts onto my roof. When I first moved into this house I was awakened from a dead sleep more than once because of those noises, afraid someone was trying to come in to my house. Now, I pay the noises no mind and in a month or so I'll go out with a basket and pick up the walnuts from the yard and sweep the pecans from my deck. Nuts outside and a big nut inside! :-)
My "job from Hell" ended almost 60 days from it's beginning. I have never had a more stressful job but I left feeling I had accomplished something most wouldn't have been able to do under the circumstances of which I was working. I left feeling compassion for the owners, no regret and great joy at being set free. Now, I'm back on unemployment (although that's not been totally approved yet but I've applied) and I'm trying to figure out how to get back in to school.
I've been looking around on a "Seniors" dating website and why I reached out I don't know. I guess it's my annual "I want someone in my life" moment but I know it will be a fleeting moment and I'll have a little fun with it and then leave as quickly as I went in because I have no time or room for another in my life. It's just fun to think about sometimes. I think I'm just meant to fly solo for the rest of my life and I'm cool with that because my "Big 2" didn't turn out very well so maybe that's just not my path. I love being alone (with my Wizzie) and prefer the "anticipation" of finding "someone" rather than actually finding them. I guess that's why I don't find them. I can't even imagine being with someone and until you can imagine it, how can it happen?
Here comes the rain and it's time for me to get back to moving my "stuff" from the living room. Hope your day is wonderful. I'm loving life today for no reason other than I'm breathing! :-)
