Monday, January 30, 2012

Monday mornings...

are insane! So much I wanted to accomplish this morning before going to work and yet here I sit, still in my gown, still in my bed, writing paraphenalia spread all around me on the bed and I am so mad at myself for letting these moments slip by this morning. I find that my biggest challenge and my greatest battle are with my very own self.

On a spiritual and mental level (most times) I am right where I want and need to be but it is the PHYSICAL that gets me and that's what I came here to straighten out, I guess. I keep getting messages about persistence (or lack of), indolence, and defeat and they are usually relative to the "physical" so...okay. I GET IT! This morning, my message is about successful communication and FEAR OF DEFEAT.

So then, I have to think about what it is that I am afraid of and at the same time I am told that fear is irrational in nature and doesn't necessarily reflect the real situation. Okay, so I get that too and my affirmation for that is "I ACCEPT MY FEAR AND LET IT GO." The only problem is that I'm not sure what it is that I am afraid of...oh, hold on...it's coming to me...okay, I got. Yep. I got it. FEAR OF LOSING CONTROL.

Immediately after comes the thought that control is an illusion. Oh, it is Monday morning and I really don't want to be thinking that hard this morning. I want to be "la-la-la" in the shower getting ready to face the day. Oh, how funny...now that little voice in my head (or the angel on my shoulder, if you prefer) is whispering "who's the boss of YOU?" Well, I guess that would be me so I'm about to finish this blog, jump in the shower and move into my day knowing it is going to be a GREAT day because I am the "master (mistress?)" of my reality and I am going to create a wonderful day for myself! I am IN CONTROL! Hah!

So, I didn't get the things done this morning (or yesterday or the day before) that I wanted to but did other things (like spend time with my daughter and grandchildren instead of going to visit my dear friend who is in town for only a few days from D.C. and I am feeling so guilty for not going to see her already and I didn't spend time getting my hair colored which I absolutely hate to do anyhow and I didn't get anything done around my house and I have a workshop here on Wednesday and on and on and who IS in control of getting all of these things done if it isn't me?...oh, that's right, I have a "fear of losing control." Guess I walked right into that one!

So, okay, I'm just letting all of that go for now and I'm going to get in the shower and enjoy my day, my job, my friends at work and later today, after work, I will do some of those things that I didn't get done already (color hair/organize house for workshop/etc.) and tomorrow I will leave work a little early and drive over to visit my friend and it's ALL GOOD and it's ALL OKAY and I forgive myself for not being more proactive over the weekend. Guess I just needed a break. That's okay.

I did have my daughter stop at the RV place where I go to dream (because it was on our way to where we were going). She walked through the two Class C RV's that are parked there and I stayed in the car with Ethan because I've walked through those two RV's more than once and she was excited when she got back to the car and said which one she liked more and that it would be PERFECT for me! It was fun to pull her into my dream!

So, okay, on with the day! My affirmations for today are: (Spiritual) - Creative expression fulfills and makes me happy. (Mental)I am self-confident and self-accepting. (Physical)I accept my fear and let it go!

Since I live my life in Divine flow, I know there's a reason for everything and it's not always a reason I am meant to know at the moment or maybe ever but my job, is to keep going...keep looking for the good in everyone and everything...keep trying to do better than I did the day before and be the best human being I can possibly be and when I am not living up to my own expectations, then it is up to me, and only me, to make the changes I need to make to be who I want and who I am meant to be.

What do you think?

Wishing you a wonderful day! It is a great day to be alive in America and the best is yet to come. Expect a miracle!

Here I am with my booth at the Christmas Arts and Crafts Show in 2010. I was expressing my creative potential and having fun doing it! Namaste

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Sunday mornings...

are so precious! It has been forever since I last wrote but it has been an interesting time of challenges and growth and I know the best is yet to come!

I am still working at the job close to my home and loving it. It is a blessing and I sincerely hope I can ride it out for the next five years. It is an awesome, stable company with a lot of terrific people and I believe it will be a nice period at the end of the sentence which has been my "career." I haven't really had a career as much as a journey which like a feather in the wind has landed me in some beautiful places and only a few that were not so beautiful...three, to be exact so that's not so bad! Those I dust off and hang tight to the ones that were exciting and from which I learned so much, not only about life and business, but about myself.

I'm at a place in life where I am forced to see myself as one who is near the end of one adventure but soon (in 5 years if all goes as planned) to begin a new and exciting adventure. I want to travel and it is seething in my blood, my spirit, my emotions...my very soul is straining to be free and to visit every beautiful place God has created in this wonderful place I chose to incarnate called the UNITED STATES. In my mind, I'm already heading down the highway, Class C RV readied for the trip and San Diego, here I come. Up the coast highway to Vancouver...oh, I could go on for hours. It will truly be the BIG ADVENTURE!

Now, I need a partner. Someone to share the expense and the driving and the FUN that is to be had. I am about to manifest (maybe not immediately but soon) a "traveling man" who loves rock and roll music (loud) because that's my traveling music; who is strong and healthy and loves to bike and hike and take a new road he's never been down before; someone who may not necessarily believe as I do but will accept my spirituality as part of who I am and love me for it; someone who will pull over and let me paint for three or four hours while he amuses himself in his own creative adventure; he will love to laugh and must love children because the grandkids will certainly be a part of my traveling somewhere down the road; someone who will give the peace and space in the morning and not want to talk as soon as our eyes open...must have my coffee and meditation time; someone who enjoys the silence as much as the loudness; who can listen to all kinds of music, depending on the moment...loud, raucous rock and soft, soothing, spiritual music; someone who will love, honor and respect me (but not MARRY me because I'm done with that part of my life) and in turn, I WILL DO THE SAME FOR HIM! So, if you are out there, and you happen to read this blog, let me know you're there because I'm ready to start planning our first trip!

So, okay, that having been said. Everything else in life is beautiful. My best pet friend, Wiz, is almost 16 and his energy and health are waning and I know soon I will miss him so much. It broke my heart to take him for a walk and realize he couldn't make it around the circuit we one travelled easily. I had to pick him up and carry him home, crying (me) all the way. I am really going to miss his energy and his unconditional love when he crosses that rainbow bridge but I am indelibly changed by all that he brought to my life. I learned so much from him and many times when I was out walking him and I'd notice something beautiful in nature or just in the morning or whenever, I would thank God for Wiz for otherwise, I would have missed that little nugget of gold.

My grandchildren are all healthy and happy, children are healthy, happy, productive, contributing human beings so I feel very good about them.

Personal life...awesome! Professional life...awesome! Love life...more to come! Adventure...on the horizon!

So...on to CREATIVITY! I am facilitating a new series of creativity workshops beginning February 1st so I'm sure I will be sharing more via the blog because writing is how I "think it out!" Hope you come along for the ride. I am hoping to unblock or "reopen" some of the places within from which the joy flows. I am hoping to begin painting again soon. I know my spirit needs it and cries for it. If I can help myself and help others at the same time then a miracle will have occurred and I will once again, believe that Wayne Dyer is my very own muse (can a man be a muse, too? I guess I'll have to Google it later!).

After two years of "working on it" I finally self-published "Simply Sabra" in December and was able to give it as gifts to a chosen few for Christmas and it was well received. The book was a compilation of short poems written between 1974 and 2011 so it was a span of life and a fun walk through the memories of time for me. Releasing it felt almost like walking naked on stage in front of an audience because I was so open and also so vulnerable because I was honest about everything FROM MY POINT OF VIEW. Truly, can be anything else?

Now, to "seize my day!" I expect a miracle today and so should you! It IS a great day to be alive in America and the best is yet to come.

These are some of my Angel creations!

Namaste!