I started to blog and then was interrupted and now I'm blocked! My best time for writing is in the early morning, just after I finish my morning work. Seems that's the best time for me to connect and find the inspiration and direction for what I need to write.
Now, it's 1:54pm and half the day is gone and so is my creative inspiration because I'm in "doing" mode instead of "thinking" mode. I'm off an running with my list of what needs to be accomplished this day before the sun sets.
I will also do something for ME today, too. I'm beginning to understand how important it is that we treat ourselves as we would others and that means TIME for what brings us joy and happiness.
I'm on Day 9 of my morning pages so I am being consistent and that feels good! Tomorrow I am going to start water aerobics and lots of fun stuff is up for the weekend so I won't blog again until Monday.
I am going to make every effort to get the Spiritual Learning Center on Sunday. I feel very strongly that I need to check it out.
So, as time is marching on and the day is getting by me I will say that it IS a great day to be alive and the best is yet to come! Namaste!
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Breathe Deeply and Relax! ~ January 23, 2011
I didn't go to the Center for Spirit Living today although it is on my list for next Sunday. One of my life lessons is to slow down, balance and take things step by step.
I began the creative cluster last Tuesday night and with that group came my new commitment to completing my morning pages every day. I have been consistent and as a result, "things" are happening. Synchronistic, spontaneous, spiritual, and interesting experiences are occurring with such rapidity I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. I find I am having to "cool my jets" because I am in fast forward. Sometimes it feels as if I'm traveling so fast that everything is a blur and I WANT TO SEE the scenery along the way. Do you know what I mean?
So much is coming to me at once and I need time to process everything. I need to stop, breath deeply and then breathe deeply again. My friend Kris says that I over analyze everything and that I "talk a point to death" and she may be right but this is my way of processing. We all process life differently and I think perhaps that is what keeps life interesting, at least from my perspective.
Kris, for all her crabbing about me, is a true gift from God to me. She is a dear friend and we met at a weekend retreat in Dahlonega, Georgia. The retreat,for Kris, if I remember correctly, was a gift from her daughter(s) and she came with a friend. Kris is from Virginia so it was an unlikely crossing of paths but as I said, I believe God brought her to me or us to each other. I was there to enjoy the retreat with my friend who was facilitating the retreat and I'd gifted the retreat to another friend so she could enjoy some relaxation, too. The retreat meant something different to Kris than it did to most of us there but the main thing that happened for me that weekend, was that our paths crossed and we became friends.
Because of that meeting, my life has been enriched in so many ways and I have had experiences that I could never, ever have conceived if I had not had that chance meeting. I won't go into all of the wonderful experiences in the blog today but suffice it to say, it has been EPIC!
Imagine being in the high Andes of Peru, in the middle of Lake Titicaca in a boat made of Torturo reeds by a Uros Indian. Lake Titicaca is supposed to be the highest navigable lake in the world at approximately 12,630 ft. The Inca believed that their first ruler and his sister emerged from a cave on an island in the lake, and that at creation the sun itself rose from the waters of the lake. It was a very spiritual place and I was there with Kris!
You know, you just never know what a day will bring. Each day is a gift. In 2003 the daily gifts were exotic and brand new and nothing I could have imagined. It HAD TO BE EXPERIENCED!
Today was not as exciting as day waking up in a lodge beside the sacred Urubamba River in Acqua Calientes at the foot of Macchu Picchu but it was a good day here in Buford, Georgia...and within ME is the memory of that morning I woke up, after a refreshing nights sleep with the window thrown open. I slept under warm, alpaca blankets with the sounds of the rushing river lulling me to a peaceful slumber. This is the view from my window. But my main point is that had I never met Kris at that retreat, I would NEVER had had this experience and many more just like them. She has been a friend and a mentor and a travelling companion and teacher...a true gift to me for which I shall be eternally grateful!
The morning after our night in Acqua Calientes, Kris and I rode in a bus, up a long, winding road to the very top of the mountain to see the ruins at Macchu Picchu. All the books I'd read, all the pictures I'd viewed and even a video or two did not prepare me for the actuality of Macchu Picchu. It had to be felt! I had to stand there with my feet on the ground, sacred ground and wonder how in the world those ruins got up there so far from everything and so high above everything. It was magical.
Words cannot adequately express my physical, spiritual and emotional experience there.
Speaking of a peaceful slumber, I'm writing this in the evening and it's about time for just that...peaceful slumber. So, I will wish you pleasant dreams and a start to a terrific week!
Namaste!
I began the creative cluster last Tuesday night and with that group came my new commitment to completing my morning pages every day. I have been consistent and as a result, "things" are happening. Synchronistic, spontaneous, spiritual, and interesting experiences are occurring with such rapidity I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. I find I am having to "cool my jets" because I am in fast forward. Sometimes it feels as if I'm traveling so fast that everything is a blur and I WANT TO SEE the scenery along the way. Do you know what I mean?
So much is coming to me at once and I need time to process everything. I need to stop, breath deeply and then breathe deeply again. My friend Kris says that I over analyze everything and that I "talk a point to death" and she may be right but this is my way of processing. We all process life differently and I think perhaps that is what keeps life interesting, at least from my perspective.
Kris, for all her crabbing about me, is a true gift from God to me. She is a dear friend and we met at a weekend retreat in Dahlonega, Georgia. The retreat,for Kris, if I remember correctly, was a gift from her daughter(s) and she came with a friend. Kris is from Virginia so it was an unlikely crossing of paths but as I said, I believe God brought her to me or us to each other. I was there to enjoy the retreat with my friend who was facilitating the retreat and I'd gifted the retreat to another friend so she could enjoy some relaxation, too. The retreat meant something different to Kris than it did to most of us there but the main thing that happened for me that weekend, was that our paths crossed and we became friends.
Because of that meeting, my life has been enriched in so many ways and I have had experiences that I could never, ever have conceived if I had not had that chance meeting. I won't go into all of the wonderful experiences in the blog today but suffice it to say, it has been EPIC!
Imagine being in the high Andes of Peru, in the middle of Lake Titicaca in a boat made of Torturo reeds by a Uros Indian. Lake Titicaca is supposed to be the highest navigable lake in the world at approximately 12,630 ft. The Inca believed that their first ruler and his sister emerged from a cave on an island in the lake, and that at creation the sun itself rose from the waters of the lake. It was a very spiritual place and I was there with Kris!
You know, you just never know what a day will bring. Each day is a gift. In 2003 the daily gifts were exotic and brand new and nothing I could have imagined. It HAD TO BE EXPERIENCED!
Today was not as exciting as day waking up in a lodge beside the sacred Urubamba River in Acqua Calientes at the foot of Macchu Picchu but it was a good day here in Buford, Georgia...and within ME is the memory of that morning I woke up, after a refreshing nights sleep with the window thrown open. I slept under warm, alpaca blankets with the sounds of the rushing river lulling me to a peaceful slumber. This is the view from my window. But my main point is that had I never met Kris at that retreat, I would NEVER had had this experience and many more just like them. She has been a friend and a mentor and a travelling companion and teacher...a true gift to me for which I shall be eternally grateful!
The morning after our night in Acqua Calientes, Kris and I rode in a bus, up a long, winding road to the very top of the mountain to see the ruins at Macchu Picchu. All the books I'd read, all the pictures I'd viewed and even a video or two did not prepare me for the actuality of Macchu Picchu. It had to be felt! I had to stand there with my feet on the ground, sacred ground and wonder how in the world those ruins got up there so far from everything and so high above everything. It was magical.
Words cannot adequately express my physical, spiritual and emotional experience there.
Speaking of a peaceful slumber, I'm writing this in the evening and it's about time for just that...peaceful slumber. So, I will wish you pleasant dreams and a start to a terrific week!
Namaste!
Friday, January 21, 2011
Celebration of Life - January 21, 2011
Today is my daughter's birthday and I am feeling very fortunate and blessed to have her as my daughter. The birth of each of my children was such a miracle and a wonder to me. I chose to have natural childbirth and my husband was with me for the birth of all three and he was the perfect partner for me for the birthing process. He was there as my support person and his being there was a comfort to me and I am grateful to him.
We took LaMaze classes before each of them and after our first child, Joshua was born, we went to the class behind us and shared our experience. It was a 24-hour labor but I had read enough and practiced enough that I was able to get through it without having drugs. I knew exactly what was going on in my body and I worked with it. It felt like the right thing to do, for me and I was very much in the moment and at the moment of birth, it was as if the entire room was lit with bright light and I knew the angels were dancing this day. It felt like that with each of them.
Two years later, for Jessica's birth, we chose a different method (since we were "seasoned" birthers) and she was born in a room with dimmed lights and was delivered into a tub of warm water and her cord was not cut until it had stopped pulsating. She never cried once but her eyes were open wide and I don't think I have ever seen more beautiful or perfect lips.
Fast forward nine years and our third child, a daughter was brought into the world in the midst of the family. We all had a job to do. Joshua was eleven and Jessica was nine. We took them to classes so they would not be intimated by any part of the birthing process and they had a coach who was with them during the birth. She was my best friend. My husband delivered Jenny. Joshua cut the cord. Jessica accompanied her for her PKU tests. It was a bonding and very powerful experience for all of us. I have a picture of Joshua holding Jenny just after birth and they are gazing into each other's eyes and it is one of my most prized photographs.
Were the births painfree? Heck no! Were they worth the pain? Heck yes! Was it managable? Yes, it was because I had prepared myself, mentally, physically, and emotionally. What I hadn't expected was the gift of the spiritual connection I felt as each came into this world. I can't even describe the feeling as it must be experienced for one to understand. Those three moments were the defining moments in my life. The BEST three moments of my life and a time when there was absolutely no doubt in mind that God IS and the flood of emotions were so powerful that I can only hope the passing on (or death) experience is as powerful. In my deepest heart, I believe the coming and going are similar experiences. The angels danced the day they were born and I joined in the celebration.
So, happy birthday to my sweet daughter, Jessica! All three of my children came into this world under the sign of Aquarius. What does that mean? It's something I've pondered over time. I'm still not sure!
So, today is a CELEBRATION OF LIFE! I celebrate the day new life came into my world and I celebrate Jessica for being the one! I wish all expectant mother's the same joy of birth.
I have to take Mom to the Kidney Center in Gainesville today. I have a bike rack on the back of the Mustang where I hang her wheelchair. It works for us! My Mom was out cold when I was born and didn't even recover until hours after I came into the world. Makes me feel sad for her. She had a "spinal" which was a complete deadening from the waist down and then they put her asleep so the doctor could deliver me. Seems such a cold way to be born and it's no wonder I suffered from colic as a baby. Oh, that's for another day.
I'm grateful I was able to have the birthing experiences that I did and I am glad I was born into the world at the time and place I was born. It was perfect for me.
Today is a GREAT day to be alive and the best is yet to come! Off to the Kidney Center!
Namaste
We took LaMaze classes before each of them and after our first child, Joshua was born, we went to the class behind us and shared our experience. It was a 24-hour labor but I had read enough and practiced enough that I was able to get through it without having drugs. I knew exactly what was going on in my body and I worked with it. It felt like the right thing to do, for me and I was very much in the moment and at the moment of birth, it was as if the entire room was lit with bright light and I knew the angels were dancing this day. It felt like that with each of them.
Two years later, for Jessica's birth, we chose a different method (since we were "seasoned" birthers) and she was born in a room with dimmed lights and was delivered into a tub of warm water and her cord was not cut until it had stopped pulsating. She never cried once but her eyes were open wide and I don't think I have ever seen more beautiful or perfect lips.
Fast forward nine years and our third child, a daughter was brought into the world in the midst of the family. We all had a job to do. Joshua was eleven and Jessica was nine. We took them to classes so they would not be intimated by any part of the birthing process and they had a coach who was with them during the birth. She was my best friend. My husband delivered Jenny. Joshua cut the cord. Jessica accompanied her for her PKU tests. It was a bonding and very powerful experience for all of us. I have a picture of Joshua holding Jenny just after birth and they are gazing into each other's eyes and it is one of my most prized photographs.
Were the births painfree? Heck no! Were they worth the pain? Heck yes! Was it managable? Yes, it was because I had prepared myself, mentally, physically, and emotionally. What I hadn't expected was the gift of the spiritual connection I felt as each came into this world. I can't even describe the feeling as it must be experienced for one to understand. Those three moments were the defining moments in my life. The BEST three moments of my life and a time when there was absolutely no doubt in mind that God IS and the flood of emotions were so powerful that I can only hope the passing on (or death) experience is as powerful. In my deepest heart, I believe the coming and going are similar experiences. The angels danced the day they were born and I joined in the celebration.
So, happy birthday to my sweet daughter, Jessica! All three of my children came into this world under the sign of Aquarius. What does that mean? It's something I've pondered over time. I'm still not sure!
So, today is a CELEBRATION OF LIFE! I celebrate the day new life came into my world and I celebrate Jessica for being the one! I wish all expectant mother's the same joy of birth.
I have to take Mom to the Kidney Center in Gainesville today. I have a bike rack on the back of the Mustang where I hang her wheelchair. It works for us! My Mom was out cold when I was born and didn't even recover until hours after I came into the world. Makes me feel sad for her. She had a "spinal" which was a complete deadening from the waist down and then they put her asleep so the doctor could deliver me. Seems such a cold way to be born and it's no wonder I suffered from colic as a baby. Oh, that's for another day.
I'm grateful I was able to have the birthing experiences that I did and I am glad I was born into the world at the time and place I was born. It was perfect for me.
Today is a GREAT day to be alive and the best is yet to come! Off to the Kidney Center!
Namaste
Thursday, January 20, 2011
There is always a flow!
Penney Pierce in "The Intuitive Way" says "...there is always a flow, and you can enter it whenever you choose and stay in it as long as you want." I realize that in my life, I have stepped in and out of the flow and it was necessary to have the experiences I needed to grow.
I have been getting the message that I need to find a home for my spirituality where I am with others who are on a similar journey. With perfect synchronicity and in going with my intuition, this morning, somehow and I can't even tell you how but I was led to the website of Dr. Ken Wilcox at the Center for Spiritual Living in Atlanta. He is affiliated with Science of Mind which I have been loosely studying since 1998 when my dear friend, Sam (I miss you!) took me to the Woodruff Arts Center in Atlanta for my first experience at the Science of Mind Church. It was my "next step" and exactly what I needed then and now. I completely identify with the teachings and they feel right to me. On Sunday, I will go to the Center for Spiritual Living in Atlanta and see if it really is "home." It may be just what I need for NOW and I'm excited. I think I've met him before when I went to a Wednesday night meeting so this will be fun and interesting. If it's not a good fit, I can always go back to the SOM at the Woodruff Arts Center. The church service welcomes all and respects all. I took a friend of mine there once who is a Presbyterian and sometime Episcopalian (depending on who he's married to at the time) and he told me he enjoyed the service but he wouldn't be able to go there because they didn't worship Jesus as the ONE.
He so missed the point of the service and it was a message to me that I didn't get until I'd learned a painful lesson. In SOM, Jesus is A ONE, as Buddha is A ONE and both are respected and revered equally. Jesus is A WAY and Buddha is A WAY and there are countless more WAYS but ultimately, they all lead to GOD. To me, that's the difference between religion and spirituality. I know there are many who agree and many who disagree with me there and that's okay because their truth is their truth and I respect their right to believe as they wish (as long as they don't try to cram it down my throat).
I guess I got off on a tangent there but what's important to me is that from being "in the flow" this came to me this morning. I also got the Heirophant in the Spirit position this morning in my reading. That message was "Seek the presence of a master or teacher. Involve yourself in groups for personal growth." I consider the finding of Dr. Wilcox and the website that said "YOU ARE HOME" to be synchronistic event.
So, that's my spiritual experience for this morning but while doing my morning pages and listening to music, Carlos Nakai's "The Inward Journey" waas playing and immediately my friend Nadyne came to mind. She loves his music and she and I had a less than enthusiastic (or perhaps acrimonious would be a better word) parting and I miss her. I took the Nakai music as a sign I need to be a "bigger person" and call her. I will do that today. It's "on my list."
My Mom's up early today and she's needs my help so I'll have to cut this short this morning and I'm torn between letting my thoughts flow a little longer and getting up and helping her. She can do things on her own but I know she likes for me to do them for her and I like helping her. I try to spend time in the morning and evening giving her my total attention. We all need that and after all, she IS my Mom. Part of me is berating myself for wanting to sit here but I recognize that little voice IMMEDIATELY (because I AM being mindful!) and know that it is perfectly okay for me to want to be SELFish but I am CHOOSING to do something UNSELFish that is really a good thing for my own SELF. See how that all flows in a circle? I love it! Life is so wonderful, don't you agree!
It IS a great day to be alive. The sun is shining, my little Wizzie is right my feet, beautiful music, much to do today, and an opportunity, right now, to do something nice for someone else!
This is from my trip to Alaska with my brother, Jack, in 2005. What an AWESOME experience that was and yet I know....the best is yet to come! My next big dream is rafting the Colorado River through the Grand Canyon. Talk about flow...run, River, run! I can't wait.
Wishing you a very happy, joyFULL day!
Namaste!
I have been getting the message that I need to find a home for my spirituality where I am with others who are on a similar journey. With perfect synchronicity and in going with my intuition, this morning, somehow and I can't even tell you how but I was led to the website of Dr. Ken Wilcox at the Center for Spiritual Living in Atlanta. He is affiliated with Science of Mind which I have been loosely studying since 1998 when my dear friend, Sam (I miss you!) took me to the Woodruff Arts Center in Atlanta for my first experience at the Science of Mind Church. It was my "next step" and exactly what I needed then and now. I completely identify with the teachings and they feel right to me. On Sunday, I will go to the Center for Spiritual Living in Atlanta and see if it really is "home." It may be just what I need for NOW and I'm excited. I think I've met him before when I went to a Wednesday night meeting so this will be fun and interesting. If it's not a good fit, I can always go back to the SOM at the Woodruff Arts Center. The church service welcomes all and respects all. I took a friend of mine there once who is a Presbyterian and sometime Episcopalian (depending on who he's married to at the time) and he told me he enjoyed the service but he wouldn't be able to go there because they didn't worship Jesus as the ONE.
He so missed the point of the service and it was a message to me that I didn't get until I'd learned a painful lesson. In SOM, Jesus is A ONE, as Buddha is A ONE and both are respected and revered equally. Jesus is A WAY and Buddha is A WAY and there are countless more WAYS but ultimately, they all lead to GOD. To me, that's the difference between religion and spirituality. I know there are many who agree and many who disagree with me there and that's okay because their truth is their truth and I respect their right to believe as they wish (as long as they don't try to cram it down my throat).
I guess I got off on a tangent there but what's important to me is that from being "in the flow" this came to me this morning. I also got the Heirophant in the Spirit position this morning in my reading. That message was "Seek the presence of a master or teacher. Involve yourself in groups for personal growth." I consider the finding of Dr. Wilcox and the website that said "YOU ARE HOME" to be synchronistic event.
So, that's my spiritual experience for this morning but while doing my morning pages and listening to music, Carlos Nakai's "The Inward Journey" waas playing and immediately my friend Nadyne came to mind. She loves his music and she and I had a less than enthusiastic (or perhaps acrimonious would be a better word) parting and I miss her. I took the Nakai music as a sign I need to be a "bigger person" and call her. I will do that today. It's "on my list."
My Mom's up early today and she's needs my help so I'll have to cut this short this morning and I'm torn between letting my thoughts flow a little longer and getting up and helping her. She can do things on her own but I know she likes for me to do them for her and I like helping her. I try to spend time in the morning and evening giving her my total attention. We all need that and after all, she IS my Mom. Part of me is berating myself for wanting to sit here but I recognize that little voice IMMEDIATELY (because I AM being mindful!) and know that it is perfectly okay for me to want to be SELFish but I am CHOOSING to do something UNSELFish that is really a good thing for my own SELF. See how that all flows in a circle? I love it! Life is so wonderful, don't you agree!
It IS a great day to be alive. The sun is shining, my little Wizzie is right my feet, beautiful music, much to do today, and an opportunity, right now, to do something nice for someone else!
This is from my trip to Alaska with my brother, Jack, in 2005. What an AWESOME experience that was and yet I know....the best is yet to come! My next big dream is rafting the Colorado River through the Grand Canyon. Talk about flow...run, River, run! I can't wait. Wishing you a very happy, joyFULL day!
Namaste!
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Going with the flow...01/19/2011
I am bursting with so many ideas this morning that I feel my head is going to explode before I capture my thoughts into some coherent message to share.
We began our Creative Cluster last night and will meet for the next 12 weeks on Tuesday nights. We are basing our sessions on Julia Cameron's "The Artist's Way" with modifications as needed. The book was published in 1992 and we realized that some of the wording is dated and we've learned (discovered/recovered) more since the book was written. Still, it's a good book with valid and valuable tools for helping us to "discover/recover" even more of our Self through this "journey" together.
I was so stimulated after our meeting that I found it difficult to fall asleep and when I awoke this morning, it was from a dream that I immediately wrote in my morning pages while it was fresh on my mind. Part of the process in the The Artist's Way is to write, long-hand, three pages every morning. These handwritten pages are called the morning pages and are for stream of consciousness writing. We are instructed to do this faithfully, every morning but these pages are not to be looked back upon or shared.
In our creative cluster, we are writers, for the most part with other talents but we especially love writing. To write something and then "let it go" is a difficult thing for us to do. We tend to hang on to everything we write thinking we may need it for something we create in the future. So, in addition to doing our morning pages, we have decided to bring our morning pages to our meeting and have a little ceremony where we burn the previous weeks morning pages. This is a way of teaching ourselves to "let go." We discussed the process of letting go and agreed that letting go is not easy. Letting go of bad relationships. Letting go of toxic friends. Letting go of bad personal images. Letting go of "others" statements or beliefs about us that we know are not truth about who we are so I guess the best example would be letting go of judgments. Hanging on to something or someone who is not in alignment with who we are who we want to be seems to be a life theme. It is very hard to just LET GO!
Burning our morning pages, we are symbolically LETTING GO of anything and everything that does not serve our higher and better good. We are letting go of the old to make room for the new.
One of my messages from my reading this morning was to "learn from water." Once I finished my morning work I pulled "The Tao of Birth Days...using the i-ching to become who you were born to be" by Denny Sargent from my shelf. The book was published in 2000 and I pulled it because my daughter's birthday is coming up on January 21st. I knew there wasfound an interesting message that related to my morning work and it was the first sentence in the book, the Prologue on Page 1 which says in bold letters: "Prologue: Please read!" Denny Sargent wrote: "Sometimes the simplest is the best; in fact, the goal of the Taoist is wei wu wei--"Nothing doing Nothing." This translates as GOING WITH THE FLOW. [emphasis my own].
He says that he is not naturally that type of person and I have to admit that until later in my life, I have not been that type of person either. Yet I am realizing the value of going with the flow and letting go and letting God. When I am able to BE in the flow, life seems to be so much better on all levels. So, how can I BE in the flow? How do I let go and let God?
Those are the questions I ponder yet I know that each of us comes to our own truth in our own time. The Tao tells us that all things happen for a reason and when they are supposed to happen. I wake up in the morning and I am excited at the prospect of a new day. I start my day filling my head with positive affirmations and lifting any problems up to God knowing the solution will appear when the time is right. I try to live my life in divine flow knowing that all that happens in my life is either created or allowed by me so that I can learn and grow and "become who I was born to be." I want to be happy. I believe we all want to be happy. But if we weren't sad once in a while, we wouldn't be able to appreciate the joy and elation of being happy as deeply as we do, don't you think?
I practiced mindfulness this morning. I was listening to music as I was doing my morning work and a violin piece came on. I felt so moved by its beauty that I put aside my pen, paper, books (doing all of this in bed) and went into a meditation pose, closed my eyes,started my deep breathing and totally focused on the sounds I was hearing. What a gift to me that moment in time was because I became one with EVERYTHING. I felt peaceful and connected to the ONENESS of God, Goddess, All There Is. I became the music. When the piece ended another began and it was a piano piece and I lingered at that place of "nothing doing nothing" and I knew without a doubt that I was in divine flow at that moment in time. It was a gift and I gave it to myself. When I refocused on my body and opened my eyes, I realized my cheeks were covered in tears. It was a moment of rapture. I was not only going with the flow but I was the flow. I think everyone should treat themselves to such a moment and I challenge you to gift that to yourself today!
There is so much joy, so much beauty, so much to learn, so much to know, so much to share and we are all capable of doing and being so much more as we travel along our path in life. We are remarkable beings and I marvel at something or someone every day. When I hear music such as I listened to this morning, I know it is a gift from God. I believe we all have gifts from God, every single one of us on this earth has a gift from God. We all have a contribution to make to this world.
I e-mailed Frank Riccio, the artist I mentioned yesterday, to tell him how his work moved me and how much I enjoyed looking at his work and thinking about the symbolism. I searched around on the internet until I found an e-mail address and in doing so was treated to seeing other works of his. He actually wrote back and thanked me for my e-mail. How awesome! I'd like to ask him questions about his creative process. I'm really becoming interested in knowing about the process other artists experience as they create. Anyhow, I'm getting off subject...but going with the flow?!
Well, I am getting wordy as I have a propensity for doing so I will stop now and get on with my day. I have a lot to do today but I am focused on going with the flow. I'm excited and each new day is like unwrapping a gift. I am filling my mind with the good, the pure, the powerful, the positive and the opimistic. (Thank you and God bless you Zig Ziglar!) It IS a GREAT day to be alive and the best is yet to come!
Sending best wishes for a day of going with the flow and enjoying the beauty around you!
[16X20 Acrylic w/sand on canvas - Untitled - by Sabra L. Ray (moi!)
Enjoy and lose yourself "in the flow!"
Namaste!
We began our Creative Cluster last night and will meet for the next 12 weeks on Tuesday nights. We are basing our sessions on Julia Cameron's "The Artist's Way" with modifications as needed. The book was published in 1992 and we realized that some of the wording is dated and we've learned (discovered/recovered) more since the book was written. Still, it's a good book with valid and valuable tools for helping us to "discover/recover" even more of our Self through this "journey" together.
I was so stimulated after our meeting that I found it difficult to fall asleep and when I awoke this morning, it was from a dream that I immediately wrote in my morning pages while it was fresh on my mind. Part of the process in the The Artist's Way is to write, long-hand, three pages every morning. These handwritten pages are called the morning pages and are for stream of consciousness writing. We are instructed to do this faithfully, every morning but these pages are not to be looked back upon or shared.
In our creative cluster, we are writers, for the most part with other talents but we especially love writing. To write something and then "let it go" is a difficult thing for us to do. We tend to hang on to everything we write thinking we may need it for something we create in the future. So, in addition to doing our morning pages, we have decided to bring our morning pages to our meeting and have a little ceremony where we burn the previous weeks morning pages. This is a way of teaching ourselves to "let go." We discussed the process of letting go and agreed that letting go is not easy. Letting go of bad relationships. Letting go of toxic friends. Letting go of bad personal images. Letting go of "others" statements or beliefs about us that we know are not truth about who we are so I guess the best example would be letting go of judgments. Hanging on to something or someone who is not in alignment with who we are who we want to be seems to be a life theme. It is very hard to just LET GO!
Burning our morning pages, we are symbolically LETTING GO of anything and everything that does not serve our higher and better good. We are letting go of the old to make room for the new.
One of my messages from my reading this morning was to "learn from water." Once I finished my morning work I pulled "The Tao of Birth Days...using the i-ching to become who you were born to be" by Denny Sargent from my shelf. The book was published in 2000 and I pulled it because my daughter's birthday is coming up on January 21st. I knew there wasfound an interesting message that related to my morning work and it was the first sentence in the book, the Prologue on Page 1 which says in bold letters: "Prologue: Please read!" Denny Sargent wrote: "Sometimes the simplest is the best; in fact, the goal of the Taoist is wei wu wei--"Nothing doing Nothing." This translates as GOING WITH THE FLOW. [emphasis my own].
He says that he is not naturally that type of person and I have to admit that until later in my life, I have not been that type of person either. Yet I am realizing the value of going with the flow and letting go and letting God. When I am able to BE in the flow, life seems to be so much better on all levels. So, how can I BE in the flow? How do I let go and let God?
Those are the questions I ponder yet I know that each of us comes to our own truth in our own time. The Tao tells us that all things happen for a reason and when they are supposed to happen. I wake up in the morning and I am excited at the prospect of a new day. I start my day filling my head with positive affirmations and lifting any problems up to God knowing the solution will appear when the time is right. I try to live my life in divine flow knowing that all that happens in my life is either created or allowed by me so that I can learn and grow and "become who I was born to be." I want to be happy. I believe we all want to be happy. But if we weren't sad once in a while, we wouldn't be able to appreciate the joy and elation of being happy as deeply as we do, don't you think?
I practiced mindfulness this morning. I was listening to music as I was doing my morning work and a violin piece came on. I felt so moved by its beauty that I put aside my pen, paper, books (doing all of this in bed) and went into a meditation pose, closed my eyes,started my deep breathing and totally focused on the sounds I was hearing. What a gift to me that moment in time was because I became one with EVERYTHING. I felt peaceful and connected to the ONENESS of God, Goddess, All There Is. I became the music. When the piece ended another began and it was a piano piece and I lingered at that place of "nothing doing nothing" and I knew without a doubt that I was in divine flow at that moment in time. It was a gift and I gave it to myself. When I refocused on my body and opened my eyes, I realized my cheeks were covered in tears. It was a moment of rapture. I was not only going with the flow but I was the flow. I think everyone should treat themselves to such a moment and I challenge you to gift that to yourself today!
There is so much joy, so much beauty, so much to learn, so much to know, so much to share and we are all capable of doing and being so much more as we travel along our path in life. We are remarkable beings and I marvel at something or someone every day. When I hear music such as I listened to this morning, I know it is a gift from God. I believe we all have gifts from God, every single one of us on this earth has a gift from God. We all have a contribution to make to this world.
I e-mailed Frank Riccio, the artist I mentioned yesterday, to tell him how his work moved me and how much I enjoyed looking at his work and thinking about the symbolism. I searched around on the internet until I found an e-mail address and in doing so was treated to seeing other works of his. He actually wrote back and thanked me for my e-mail. How awesome! I'd like to ask him questions about his creative process. I'm really becoming interested in knowing about the process other artists experience as they create. Anyhow, I'm getting off subject...but going with the flow
Well, I am getting wordy as I have a propensity for doing so I will stop now and get on with my day. I have a lot to do today but I am focused on going with the flow. I'm excited and each new day is like unwrapping a gift. I am filling my mind with the good, the pure, the powerful, the positive and the opimistic. (Thank you and God bless you Zig Ziglar!) It IS a GREAT day to be alive and the best is yet to come!
Sending best wishes for a day of going with the flow and enjoying the beauty around you!
[16X20 Acrylic w/sand on canvas - Untitled - by Sabra L. Ray (moi!)
Enjoy and lose yourself "in the flow!"
Namaste!
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Abundance and Love - January 18, 2011
I bought the book "Abounding River" by Matthew and Terces Englelhart as a gift to myself for 2011. The cover promises "an unfamiliar view of being abundant." In the introduction, they tell me that this book "is a Spiritual perspective and practice and is designed for people who already have a spiritual connection in their lives, or for those who are willing to open up to one, particularly in the area of abundance! Which may only look like you are simple tired of living with LACK!"
The book includes a 42-day process which can transform the reader's (me...you)thinking from one of lack to abundance. For anyone interested, I bought the book online. The Englehart's own, among other things, a restaurant on Shattuck Street in Berkeley that I visited with friends called Cafe Gratitude. Their website is www.cafegratitude.com and you can purchase the book in the webstore. The website is interesting and if you take a look, I'd love to know what you think.
Twelve years ago, I read Sarah Ban Breathnac's book "Simple Abundance" which is a "Daybook of Comfort and Joy." In her introduction, she saids "Reading books changes lives." I agree with her completely and her book certainly changed my life and I am expecting no less from The Abounding River. Her book is about abundance of the SOUL and I suspect The Abounding River is going to be the next step for me. I'll keep you posted!
I hadn't planned to write about abundance this morning but I ask for guidance before I sit down to write that whatever comes through is for my higher and better good and the higher and better good of all and then it's my job to just let it flow. So what flowed this morning was abundance.
Affirm: I am abundant. My life is abundant. Abundance is my natural condition.
There is such a sense of LACK rampant in consciousness right now and it takes all my effort to block that negative flow of energy. It is people like Sarah Ban Breathnac and the Englehart's who are resonating with abundance and love and as a species, if we are to survive, we need to be focused on all that we do have and on helping each other and sharing. It all starts with one person and that one person is SELF. I want to help others and I want abundance to continue in my life and in the life of others. I want to be a better person. That doesn't mean I'm not a good person but part of the process of life, in my opinion, is to grow in spirit and in love. There is so much I DON'T UNDERSTAND so when I get overwhelmed I go within and find that place of peace and love so I CAN share. And as I write I hear "each person is on their own path and will come to the place they need to be in their own time." I am no hero. I am, daily, finding my own path, my own place, my own peace. It's a process. It's all a process.
Back to yesterday's blog and I was going to tell you about the second thing that happened. A friend I adore and respect said she thought I was "angry" and covering it up with "love and light." Since I do have a great respect for her, I thought about it for a while. Am I angry? Why I am angry, if I am angry? Do I cover up my anger? Is it all a facade? What does it mean? Why would she think that of me? She sent another e-mail with 45 things to know and one of those 45 things was that it is okay to agree to disagree. So there was my answer to her! I thanked her for opinion but said that we can agree to disagree on this point. She said I search and I search but don't find my answers. She was partly right because I do search and search and that's because I am a seeker. The part where she was wrong is that I do find answers.
I am a seeker. I seek truth, love, light, joy, peace, knowledge, understanding. That's my path. That's my journey. She has been a light along my way and I love and honor her for all that she has shown me. One answer leads to another question. I'm questing. This life is a quest and I seek the holy grail. Yet I have traveled far enough along this journey to know that when I find the holy grail, the journey is complete and that will hopefully, not be for quite a while as I still have a lot of road to put behind me. So am I angry? No, I'm not. Not that I'm covering it up with love and light. I AM love and light! God shines through me. He shines through each of us although perhaps differently and more brighter in some than others. So although I did not agree with what she said, I did not let it "hurt my feelings" and cause me to "shut down" as it may have in the past when I wasn't quite as far along in my journey. I was able to thank her for her opinion, disagree and let it go. That's how I know I am growing. It's a "self-measurement" and I am learning to be my own champion rather than being so self-critical. That's how I know I am growing. How about you? In what ways are you becoming more of who you are meant to be in this life?
On the cover of the Abounding River is a blue sky above the horizon of a desert landscape which looks to be Sedona, Arizona with Bell Rock front and center. There is a dried river bed with pebbles and river rocks and on the dried river bed sits a pair of mirrored sunglasses. In the mirror of the sunglasses is a frothing ocean with waves hitting the shore and splashing upon rocks which are at the edge of a line of trees that are in full bloom. In the waves you see a couple of leaves floating.
The cover art is by Frank Riccio and the powerful symbolism of that cover just stops me in my tracks and makes me want to see more of his work. I will put that on my list of things to research. Bravo, Frank! Bellissimo!
My blogging time is up and it is time to move in to what is going to be a very full day. Tonight my creative cluster meets for the first time and I am very, very excited to get that going and to be a part of a new group.
Remember...Today IS a great day to be alive and the best is yet to come! Wishing you abundance in your mind, for your body and most importantly may your soul be abundantly nourished this day! Namaste!
The book includes a 42-day process which can transform the reader's (me...you)thinking from one of lack to abundance. For anyone interested, I bought the book online. The Englehart's own, among other things, a restaurant on Shattuck Street in Berkeley that I visited with friends called Cafe Gratitude. Their website is www.cafegratitude.com and you can purchase the book in the webstore. The website is interesting and if you take a look, I'd love to know what you think.
Twelve years ago, I read Sarah Ban Breathnac's book "Simple Abundance" which is a "Daybook of Comfort and Joy." In her introduction, she saids "Reading books changes lives." I agree with her completely and her book certainly changed my life and I am expecting no less from The Abounding River. Her book is about abundance of the SOUL and I suspect The Abounding River is going to be the next step for me. I'll keep you posted!
I hadn't planned to write about abundance this morning but I ask for guidance before I sit down to write that whatever comes through is for my higher and better good and the higher and better good of all and then it's my job to just let it flow. So what flowed this morning was abundance.
Affirm: I am abundant. My life is abundant. Abundance is my natural condition.
There is such a sense of LACK rampant in consciousness right now and it takes all my effort to block that negative flow of energy. It is people like Sarah Ban Breathnac and the Englehart's who are resonating with abundance and love and as a species, if we are to survive, we need to be focused on all that we do have and on helping each other and sharing. It all starts with one person and that one person is SELF. I want to help others and I want abundance to continue in my life and in the life of others. I want to be a better person. That doesn't mean I'm not a good person but part of the process of life, in my opinion, is to grow in spirit and in love. There is so much I DON'T UNDERSTAND so when I get overwhelmed I go within and find that place of peace and love so I CAN share. And as I write I hear "each person is on their own path and will come to the place they need to be in their own time." I am no hero. I am, daily, finding my own path, my own place, my own peace. It's a process. It's all a process.
Back to yesterday's blog and I was going to tell you about the second thing that happened. A friend I adore and respect said she thought I was "angry" and covering it up with "love and light." Since I do have a great respect for her, I thought about it for a while. Am I angry? Why I am angry, if I am angry? Do I cover up my anger? Is it all a facade? What does it mean? Why would she think that of me? She sent another e-mail with 45 things to know and one of those 45 things was that it is okay to agree to disagree. So there was my answer to her! I thanked her for opinion but said that we can agree to disagree on this point. She said I search and I search but don't find my answers. She was partly right because I do search and search and that's because I am a seeker. The part where she was wrong is that I do find answers.
I am a seeker. I seek truth, love, light, joy, peace, knowledge, understanding. That's my path. That's my journey. She has been a light along my way and I love and honor her for all that she has shown me. One answer leads to another question. I'm questing. This life is a quest and I seek the holy grail. Yet I have traveled far enough along this journey to know that when I find the holy grail, the journey is complete and that will hopefully, not be for quite a while as I still have a lot of road to put behind me. So am I angry? No, I'm not. Not that I'm covering it up with love and light. I AM love and light! God shines through me. He shines through each of us although perhaps differently and more brighter in some than others. So although I did not agree with what she said, I did not let it "hurt my feelings" and cause me to "shut down" as it may have in the past when I wasn't quite as far along in my journey. I was able to thank her for her opinion, disagree and let it go. That's how I know I am growing. It's a "self-measurement" and I am learning to be my own champion rather than being so self-critical. That's how I know I am growing. How about you? In what ways are you becoming more of who you are meant to be in this life?
On the cover of the Abounding River is a blue sky above the horizon of a desert landscape which looks to be Sedona, Arizona with Bell Rock front and center. There is a dried river bed with pebbles and river rocks and on the dried river bed sits a pair of mirrored sunglasses. In the mirror of the sunglasses is a frothing ocean with waves hitting the shore and splashing upon rocks which are at the edge of a line of trees that are in full bloom. In the waves you see a couple of leaves floating.
The cover art is by Frank Riccio and the powerful symbolism of that cover just stops me in my tracks and makes me want to see more of his work. I will put that on my list of things to research. Bravo, Frank! Bellissimo!
My blogging time is up and it is time to move in to what is going to be a very full day. Tonight my creative cluster meets for the first time and I am very, very excited to get that going and to be a part of a new group.
Remember...Today IS a great day to be alive and the best is yet to come! Wishing you abundance in your mind, for your body and most importantly may your soul be abundantly nourished this day! Namaste!
Monday, January 17, 2011
The Joyful Journey ~ 01/17/2011
Two things were mirrored to me as a result of my blog yesterday.
(One)Someone who was once significant to my life apparently took the time to read my post and came back to Facebook to tell me "Bullsh**." At first, it made me angry and then, it just made me sad for him. I'll admit it bothered me. This morning, I picked up the book "In the Spirit" by Susan Taylor and on page 9 she says "We can't experience the love we crave when we are angry or holding grudges." I have spent way too much of my life being angry at this person for one reason or another and he's about the only one I know what can make my blood boil in what is an uncharacteristic manner for me. He's "got my button" which means he's mirroring a part of myself that I need to resolve.
Miss Taylor goes on to say "Expecting them to be who we want them to be, or to operate BEYOND THEIR LEVEL OF UNDERSTANDING (my emphasis) is an exercise in frustration for us and is unfair to them. We'd best accept folks as they are, or let them grow on without us." I believe she is on to something there, especially the last part where she says to "let them grow on without us." I closed my eyes,went to my center and channeled pure love to this person. I surrounded him with love and light. I released any negativity towards him and lifted him up to God and with a prayer that all that happen to him be for his higher and better good and that he find his way and his joy in life. I found that any anger I had towards him was gone completely. His derogatory remark could only hurt me if I let it and I choose love over hurt. By sending love to him, I am, in essence, loving myself. I guess that's the next step for me. We can hear something over and over and over in a number of different ways. One day, it's just "clicks" and we hear what we are supposed to hear and THAT is when we are one step closer to realizing our own self. His words have no power over me unless I let them.
Miss Taylor wrote: "Under the influence of love, everything in your life gets better. Clouds begin to dissipate and your sense of inner freedom expands. You realize that you are free to love, free to be, free to create the good life you envision. And so your life becomes the joyful journey that God promises."
So even though that "Bullsh**" could have been destructive (as was intended) it became an opportunity for growth. I think we all have someone in our life who is always saying "bullsh**" to what's important to us. Someone who says "no, you can't" or "you'll never be able to..." That person has value. That person makes us GROW. Until we do, we'll get more of the same. Perhaps today I've realized the value of that person and I can truly get on with the joyful journey. I have to say, it was much easier this time. That's a good thing!
Secondly, a friend suggested that I was ...
Well, I got a "something special" as I was writing this post. My precious friend from my favorite place on EARTH...(Linda Mar)Pacifica, California called to chat. I'll have to get back to that second "mirror" train of thought tomorrow. I have spent my blogging time chatting with CN so it's on with my day and the joyful journey! I am lightened from my contact with my friend and thank GOD for her and our time together this morning.
The message from my morning work was very interesting because after thoroughly shuffling the cards and fanning them out, I drew two of the same cards I drew yesterday. I had to laugh and call it "God's magic trick!" The third card from the draw was in my deck "by mistake?" It was card with the address for the Ordo Templi Orientis in Austin and there was a message indicating that "at first sight one would suppose this arrangement to be arbitrary, but it is not." Pretty cool, wouldn't you agree? So anyhow, to make the above more undstandable to us "everyday" people, there are no accidents and the cards are synchonistic to the message I need to hear for this day. I believe it and so it is!
IT IS A GREAT DAY TO BE ALIVE...and the BEST is yet to come! Wishing you a joyful journey of your own today!
Namaste!
(One)Someone who was once significant to my life apparently took the time to read my post and came back to Facebook to tell me "Bullsh**." At first, it made me angry and then, it just made me sad for him. I'll admit it bothered me. This morning, I picked up the book "In the Spirit" by Susan Taylor and on page 9 she says "We can't experience the love we crave when we are angry or holding grudges." I have spent way too much of my life being angry at this person for one reason or another and he's about the only one I know what can make my blood boil in what is an uncharacteristic manner for me. He's "got my button" which means he's mirroring a part of myself that I need to resolve.
Miss Taylor goes on to say "Expecting them to be who we want them to be, or to operate BEYOND THEIR LEVEL OF UNDERSTANDING (my emphasis) is an exercise in frustration for us and is unfair to them. We'd best accept folks as they are, or let them grow on without us." I believe she is on to something there, especially the last part where she says to "let them grow on without us." I closed my eyes,went to my center and channeled pure love to this person. I surrounded him with love and light. I released any negativity towards him and lifted him up to God and with a prayer that all that happen to him be for his higher and better good and that he find his way and his joy in life. I found that any anger I had towards him was gone completely. His derogatory remark could only hurt me if I let it and I choose love over hurt. By sending love to him, I am, in essence, loving myself. I guess that's the next step for me. We can hear something over and over and over in a number of different ways. One day, it's just "clicks" and we hear what we are supposed to hear and THAT is when we are one step closer to realizing our own self. His words have no power over me unless I let them.
Miss Taylor wrote: "Under the influence of love, everything in your life gets better. Clouds begin to dissipate and your sense of inner freedom expands. You realize that you are free to love, free to be, free to create the good life you envision. And so your life becomes the joyful journey that God promises."
So even though that "Bullsh**" could have been destructive (as was intended) it became an opportunity for growth. I think we all have someone in our life who is always saying "bullsh**" to what's important to us. Someone who says "no, you can't" or "you'll never be able to..." That person has value. That person makes us GROW. Until we do, we'll get more of the same. Perhaps today I've realized the value of that person and I can truly get on with the joyful journey. I have to say, it was much easier this time. That's a good thing!
Secondly, a friend suggested that I was ...
Well, I got a "something special" as I was writing this post. My precious friend from my favorite place on EARTH...(Linda Mar)Pacifica, California called to chat. I'll have to get back to that second "mirror" train of thought tomorrow. I have spent my blogging time chatting with CN so it's on with my day and the joyful journey! I am lightened from my contact with my friend and thank GOD for her and our time together this morning.
The message from my morning work was very interesting because after thoroughly shuffling the cards and fanning them out, I drew two of the same cards I drew yesterday. I had to laugh and call it "God's magic trick!" The third card from the draw was in my deck "by mistake?" It was card with the address for the Ordo Templi Orientis in Austin and there was a message indicating that "at first sight one would suppose this arrangement to be arbitrary, but it is not." Pretty cool, wouldn't you agree? So anyhow, to make the above more undstandable to us "everyday" people, there are no accidents and the cards are synchonistic to the message I need to hear for this day. I believe it and so it is!
IT IS A GREAT DAY TO BE ALIVE...and the BEST is yet to come! Wishing you a joyful journey of your own today!
Namaste!
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Look to the future in a spirit of trust...01/16/2011
Sunday, and it is a beautiful day with the sun shining and the snow melting and I can see my driveway from top to bottom! There are still patches of snow, which are pretty, but I think I've had my quota of snow for this winter season!
I had a good time visiting with my friend, JT, at P.F. Chang's yesterday. I was a few minutes late (no surprise there) and almost as soon as I sat down they served the calamari she'd ordered for us and I was singing her praises. JT is very dependable. Not only was she there ON TIME but I'll bet she was a few minutes early. She's my inspiration for more reasons than one.
We had a darling, young red-haired server named Diedrich who became even more darling when he managed to serve my ice cold Cosmo in record time! P.F. Chang's is a traditional meeting place for my friends and me. They have the very best Cosmo in town, as far as I am concerned, and their appetizers are awesome!
I hadn't seen JT in several months so we had a pleasant "happy new year" reunion. She's a writer and an artist although she calls it her "business." She is one of those rare persons who functions on both sides of the brain equally well. In appearance, she's very conservative but her thinking is outside the box! She has a great sense of humor and I find myself chuckling when I'm on my way home at something she said that was so unexpected. I learned yesterday that she had once taken an improv class. I always learn something new about her every time we are together and she is amazing. At first, I thought she was quiet and shy. Once I got to know her better, I realized she is just quiet and peaceful and has a wonderful, open mind but she's not really shy. She is very interested in everything in L~I~F~E and open to exploring spiritual and metaphysical subjects which I totally enjoy. She is structured and that's something I could use more of in my life but at this point, I doubt it going to happen. Maybe in my next incarnation? She's always on time (unlike me) and she approaches things in a step-by-step way (unlike me). There is much I can learn from her! I feel blessed to have her in my life and I'm happy she is my friend. We're salt and pepper but together we season things well!
She has a new hobby (remember, ART is her BUSINESS) and it is knitting. She gave me a knitted hat yesterday and I was so touched. She said it's only the third one she's made but it is adorable and I love it! I had her take this picture of me with my new knitted hat as we left the restaurant yesterday. Perfect fit!
After lunch, we said our goodbyes and JT went next door to Barnes and Nobles and I drove to Loganville. I spent time with my children and grandchildren because it always makes me happy to be around them. It feels like fresh air blowing through me when I'm with them. They always lift my spirit, even when it doesn't need lifting and a hug from one of them is like a grand treat to me and I do not take their love for granted EVER!
Yesterday was a very good day! On in to today and it is 11:11am (hm!?!) and I completed my morning work with the message to look to "look to the future in a spirit of trust!"
JT and I talked about that a little yesterday when we approached the "birds falling from the sky" and "2012" subject. We both agreed that we are not going to live in FEAR and if it is the "apocalypse" or "end times" or whatever the doomsayers want to call it, we are not going to change a thing about the way we live our lives because we are living in gratitude and love on a daily basis. I asked her what she would do different if she knew the world was going to end on 12/21/2012 (my mother's 82nd birthday, by the way) and she said "absolutely nothing." I'm with her. We already know how important it is to start each day in a positive way and to tell/show those we love how much we care in every way we can. We enjoy every minute and we look to the future "in a spirit of trust." We help each other be mindful and that's a good thing for friends to do for and with each other.
I have had friends who are negative and want to argue about everything, especially political or religious. What a waste of time, in my opinion. I got sucked in to it for a while but I quickly realized that was not a place I wanted to be and those friends went by the by. Glad they "passed through" my life and I don't look back. Not any more! It's not that I am ungrateful for each person that has been in my life because in the "soup" of it, they've been meat and potatoes, too. Sometimes though, when the soup's not quite right, it's best to throw it out and start all over, remembering NOT to use a particular ingredient again! Live and learn, Sisters and Brothers, live and learn!
I woke up this morning, got my coffee, came back to bed and turned on the tv and "Dear John" was on HBO. So, I watched it. I've seen it in bits and pieces but I never saw the beginning or the ending...just bits and pieces. It was another "happily ever after" ending but there was so much agony in between the "fall in love" and "we get to be together finally" part that it almost felt real to me. I'm glad I took the time to watch it because I enjoyed it and my heart was warmed. I may be 60 and I've had a really good life and I may alone now and thoroughly enjoying it BUT...and it's a big BUT...I do "look to the future in a spirit of trust!" I know there's a plan for me and I know I won't spend the last few years of my life alone. In fact, I know there's a whole new exciting time about to happen in my life. It will be within the next five years,or sooner and I'll keep you posted. I AM looking to the future in a spirit of trust and I am living TODAY in the same spirit.
Today I am making a pot of red beans and rice because that's what my Mom requested. I love red beans and rice, too and I grew up eating lots of fish and lots of beans. Fish were plentiful as I was in the "luckiest fishing village in the world" and beans were cheap because growing up there meant "service" industry and people in the "service" industry don't make a lot of money. Little did we realize that those are two of the best things to put into the body and today I pay big dollars for that prized piece of fresh fish. Beans are still cheap but I realize the value of them now and for bang for the buck, they are one of the best deals at the market!
I am also continuing work on my "project." Now that I have a big mess in EVERY room, I don't know where to begin but I'll figure it out today, or tomorrow, or the next day. (Time to channel JT and take one step at a time!) So, to that end, I'll get on with the day. Geez, it's half over and I'm still sitting her in my gown with my hair sticking up in 90 different directions. Oh, does that feel delicious!
The message from my "morning work" was this: (S)Enjoy today. (M)Trust in spirituality and all encompassing love. (B)Look to the future in a spirit of trust. So I move into the day being mindful of joy and trust.
Tomorrow, I reschedule the job interview AND drive to Gainesville to apply for unemployment. I'm curious to see what's going to come my way next week but I know it's all good! I TRUST in a good result!
Always remember, it IS a great day to be alive and the best is yet to come! Namaste, my friends.
I had a good time visiting with my friend, JT, at P.F. Chang's yesterday. I was a few minutes late (no surprise there) and almost as soon as I sat down they served the calamari she'd ordered for us and I was singing her praises. JT is very dependable. Not only was she there ON TIME but I'll bet she was a few minutes early. She's my inspiration for more reasons than one.
We had a darling, young red-haired server named Diedrich who became even more darling when he managed to serve my ice cold Cosmo in record time! P.F. Chang's is a traditional meeting place for my friends and me. They have the very best Cosmo in town, as far as I am concerned, and their appetizers are awesome!
I hadn't seen JT in several months so we had a pleasant "happy new year" reunion. She's a writer and an artist although she calls it her "business." She is one of those rare persons who functions on both sides of the brain equally well. In appearance, she's very conservative but her thinking is outside the box! She has a great sense of humor and I find myself chuckling when I'm on my way home at something she said that was so unexpected. I learned yesterday that she had once taken an improv class. I always learn something new about her every time we are together and she is amazing. At first, I thought she was quiet and shy. Once I got to know her better, I realized she is just quiet and peaceful and has a wonderful, open mind but she's not really shy. She is very interested in everything in L~I~F~E and open to exploring spiritual and metaphysical subjects which I totally enjoy. She is structured and that's something I could use more of in my life but at this point, I doubt it going to happen. Maybe in my next incarnation? She's always on time (unlike me) and she approaches things in a step-by-step way (unlike me). There is much I can learn from her! I feel blessed to have her in my life and I'm happy she is my friend. We're salt and pepper but together we season things well!
She has a new hobby (remember, ART is her BUSINESS) and it is knitting. She gave me a knitted hat yesterday and I was so touched. She said it's only the third one she's made but it is adorable and I love it! I had her take this picture of me with my new knitted hat as we left the restaurant yesterday. Perfect fit!
After lunch, we said our goodbyes and JT went next door to Barnes and Nobles and I drove to Loganville. I spent time with my children and grandchildren because it always makes me happy to be around them. It feels like fresh air blowing through me when I'm with them. They always lift my spirit, even when it doesn't need lifting and a hug from one of them is like a grand treat to me and I do not take their love for granted EVER!
Yesterday was a very good day! On in to today and it is 11:11am (hm!?!) and I completed my morning work with the message to look to "look to the future in a spirit of trust!"
JT and I talked about that a little yesterday when we approached the "birds falling from the sky" and "2012" subject. We both agreed that we are not going to live in FEAR and if it is the "apocalypse" or "end times" or whatever the doomsayers want to call it, we are not going to change a thing about the way we live our lives because we are living in gratitude and love on a daily basis. I asked her what she would do different if she knew the world was going to end on 12/21/2012 (my mother's 82nd birthday, by the way) and she said "absolutely nothing." I'm with her. We already know how important it is to start each day in a positive way and to tell/show those we love how much we care in every way we can. We enjoy every minute and we look to the future "in a spirit of trust." We help each other be mindful and that's a good thing for friends to do for and with each other.
I have had friends who are negative and want to argue about everything, especially political or religious. What a waste of time, in my opinion. I got sucked in to it for a while but I quickly realized that was not a place I wanted to be and those friends went by the by. Glad they "passed through" my life and I don't look back. Not any more! It's not that I am ungrateful for each person that has been in my life because in the "soup" of it, they've been meat and potatoes, too. Sometimes though, when the soup's not quite right, it's best to throw it out and start all over, remembering NOT to use a particular ingredient again! Live and learn, Sisters and Brothers, live and learn!
I woke up this morning, got my coffee, came back to bed and turned on the tv and "Dear John" was on HBO. So, I watched it. I've seen it in bits and pieces but I never saw the beginning or the ending...just bits and pieces. It was another "happily ever after" ending but there was so much agony in between the "fall in love" and "we get to be together finally" part that it almost felt real to me. I'm glad I took the time to watch it because I enjoyed it and my heart was warmed. I may be 60 and I've had a really good life and I may alone now and thoroughly enjoying it BUT...and it's a big BUT...I do "look to the future in a spirit of trust!" I know there's a plan for me and I know I won't spend the last few years of my life alone. In fact, I know there's a whole new exciting time about to happen in my life. It will be within the next five years,or sooner and I'll keep you posted. I AM looking to the future in a spirit of trust and I am living TODAY in the same spirit.
Today I am making a pot of red beans and rice because that's what my Mom requested. I love red beans and rice, too and I grew up eating lots of fish and lots of beans. Fish were plentiful as I was in the "luckiest fishing village in the world" and beans were cheap because growing up there meant "service" industry and people in the "service" industry don't make a lot of money. Little did we realize that those are two of the best things to put into the body and today I pay big dollars for that prized piece of fresh fish. Beans are still cheap but I realize the value of them now and for bang for the buck, they are one of the best deals at the market!
I am also continuing work on my "project." Now that I have a big mess in EVERY room, I don't know where to begin but I'll figure it out today, or tomorrow, or the next day. (Time to channel JT and take one step at a time!) So, to that end, I'll get on with the day. Geez, it's half over and I'm still sitting her in my gown with my hair sticking up in 90 different directions. Oh, does that feel delicious!
The message from my "morning work" was this: (S)Enjoy today. (M)Trust in spirituality and all encompassing love. (B)Look to the future in a spirit of trust. So I move into the day being mindful of joy and trust.
Tomorrow, I reschedule the job interview AND drive to Gainesville to apply for unemployment. I'm curious to see what's going to come my way next week but I know it's all good! I TRUST in a good result!
Always remember, it IS a great day to be alive and the best is yet to come! Namaste, my friends.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
A Taste of Freedom...01/15/2011
I don't have much time to write this morning but I am trying to keep my promise of being consistent so I am making the time to do this. It will shorten my shower but I'm not that dirty anyhow and who needs makeup?
I am feeling giddy that I am getting out of the house today. Five days of being homebound were beginning to wear on me. I had lots of projects to complete and I still have lots of projects to complete because all I managed to do was make a huge mess by tearing things out of closets, off of bookshelves and now, it's worse than before I began but there is the POSSIBILITY of a great thing happening here and I'm all about possibilities. To go with that is the PROBABILITY and I know it will happen but I just can't say when.
I seem to work best under pressure and since I have my Creative Cluster forming here on Tuesday, I'll have it all back together before then, probably in a tear on Monday and on Tuesday morning but I WILL get it done. I know that about myself and accept it. It's one of the benefits of living alone. No one to berate me for leaving things "out of place" longer than they should be. I think I do it just for the joy of that fact?! Not really. Basically, I think I've just been lazy. Yep, that's it and it has been wonderful!
I'm meeting a friend for lunch today at P.F. Chang's and I'm looking forward to a nice visit while enjoying some lettuce wraps and a couple of ice cold Cosmos. Then, I'm going to take Sabra to a movie and afterwards, I'll drive to Loganville to visit my children and grandchildren. It's shaping up to be a great day OUTSIDE of the house.
Part of me feels badly for Mom because she'll be stuck here by herself but there's nothing to be done for it today. Maybe my brother will come over and visit her or my sister. She'd like that and they could look at my "reorganization projects" (mess) and feel superior because their houses are in order. That's okay. I'm cool with it! What are sisters for if not to make her siblings feel better about themselves! :-)
I didn't do my morning work but I did watch the movie "Legion" this morning. It made me think about hope and faith, two things of which I'm full of for many different things. In fact, I think those are two of my best features. Today, I hope I can get down my driveway and I have faith that I am going to have a great time with other people! I guess hope and faith can work in a lot of different ways. They go hand in hand. In the movie, the hero is asked why he keeps on hoping when he knows all hope is lost. Well, duh. He HOPES so obviously all hope isn't lost and his faith in love and his hope for love are what saves the day for mankind although at the end, when he's driving down the road with the woman who is the object of his affection and the baby who has a mighty journey ahead, it looks so sweet with the three of them and looks like he's gotten all his dreams come true. Then, it pans to the back of the car and it's loaded down with machine guns. Hmmm...I guess faith and hope are good things to have but a machine gun is good for back up when all else fails. Guess I'll get one when I'm at the mall today.
Well, Wiz is whining and I need to jump in the shower so I'll conclude by wishing you a terrific day, filled with hope and faith! (Forget the guns! I'm really more of a "flower power" person!).
It IS a great day to be alive and the best is yet to come! Namaste!
I am feeling giddy that I am getting out of the house today. Five days of being homebound were beginning to wear on me. I had lots of projects to complete and I still have lots of projects to complete because all I managed to do was make a huge mess by tearing things out of closets, off of bookshelves and now, it's worse than before I began but there is the POSSIBILITY of a great thing happening here and I'm all about possibilities. To go with that is the PROBABILITY and I know it will happen but I just can't say when.
I seem to work best under pressure and since I have my Creative Cluster forming here on Tuesday, I'll have it all back together before then, probably in a tear on Monday and on Tuesday morning but I WILL get it done. I know that about myself and accept it. It's one of the benefits of living alone. No one to berate me for leaving things "out of place" longer than they should be. I think I do it just for the joy of that fact?! Not really. Basically, I think I've just been lazy. Yep, that's it and it has been wonderful!
I'm meeting a friend for lunch today at P.F. Chang's and I'm looking forward to a nice visit while enjoying some lettuce wraps and a couple of ice cold Cosmos. Then, I'm going to take Sabra to a movie and afterwards, I'll drive to Loganville to visit my children and grandchildren. It's shaping up to be a great day OUTSIDE of the house.
Part of me feels badly for Mom because she'll be stuck here by herself but there's nothing to be done for it today. Maybe my brother will come over and visit her or my sister. She'd like that and they could look at my "reorganization projects" (mess) and feel superior because their houses are in order. That's okay. I'm cool with it! What are sisters for if not to make her siblings feel better about themselves! :-)
I didn't do my morning work but I did watch the movie "Legion" this morning. It made me think about hope and faith, two things of which I'm full of for many different things. In fact, I think those are two of my best features. Today, I hope I can get down my driveway and I have faith that I am going to have a great time with other people! I guess hope and faith can work in a lot of different ways. They go hand in hand. In the movie, the hero is asked why he keeps on hoping when he knows all hope is lost. Well, duh. He HOPES so obviously all hope isn't lost and his faith in love and his hope for love are what saves the day for mankind although at the end, when he's driving down the road with the woman who is the object of his affection and the baby who has a mighty journey ahead, it looks so sweet with the three of them and looks like he's gotten all his dreams come true. Then, it pans to the back of the car and it's loaded down with machine guns. Hmmm...I guess faith and hope are good things to have but a machine gun is good for back up when all else fails. Guess I'll get one when I'm at the mall today.
Well, Wiz is whining and I need to jump in the shower so I'll conclude by wishing you a terrific day, filled with hope and faith! (Forget the guns! I'm really more of a "flower power" person!).
It IS a great day to be alive and the best is yet to come! Namaste!
Friday, January 14, 2011
01/14/2011 - Day 5 of Being Snowed In!
It’s Friday and after almost a week of being snowed in, I’m thinking I may get out of the house today, if only to shovel the driveway so I can move my car. It has been covered in snow for 5 days and my little pony does NOT like cold weather as it is! Yes, this is DAY FIVE of the biggest snow/ice storm in the history of Atlanta or at least for as long as I’ve been here. I am not here to complain about the weather because it is what it is and truth be known, I’m snuggled in here with Wizzie rolling around scratching his back and shaking the bed but I don’t’ mind. I’m so happy and in love with that little guy he can scratch and shake all he wants.
I have my breakfast tray on the desk beside me and this morning it’s black coffee, steaming grits with lots of black pepper, and cinnamon raisin toast with raspberry jam. Wiz just lifted his head over the top of my monitor and he’s looking at me like he really wants to go for a walk. Patience! I’m enjoying my breakfast and some blogging time and then I’ll take him for a walk if I can get off the driveway. If not, he can “do his bidness” and then come on back in! Well, that was probably more than you wanted to know but the blog this morning seems to have taken on a life of its own and it’s called consciousness streaming so I’m just going to sit back and let it go where it wants! Hang on!
I got up at 6:30am, even before the alarm went off. I had it set for 6:45am and I was excited to see that I had an extra 15 minutes this morning. I considered it a gift, got up and turned off the alarm and went into the kitchen and got a “Timothy’s” brand expresso k-cup for the Kuerig coffee maker. I bought the coffee maker for my Mom for Christmas but I am enjoying it as much, if not more, that she. It’s the height of decadence! In less than 2 minutes I have a steaming hot cup of coffee in my hands and it tastes the same as if it were brewed in my espresso machine. Instant gratification. That’s what I’m talking about and we are getting so spoiled but I am happy to be spoiled in this way because I do love my morning coffee and if I don’t have to wait for it, well, I have to say it’s ALMOST as nice as having someone bring me a cup of coffee in bed. Oh, that took me someplace else and I could explore that train of thought more but I’ll leave that one alone this morning. Uh oh, had to take a moment there and let my mind play with that thought and I have to say visions of RP or JD, scantily clad in perhaps only a smile, holding a tray with my morning coffee came to mind. Stop it, Sabra! You are a wild child! Oh! Behave!
Okay, so, breathing deeply and moving on now. I did my three pages of long-hard writing as required by the “Artist’s Way” program. Our creative cluster was scheduled to start on Tuesday but we’ve moved it to next Tuesday because of the snow. I’ve been reviewing the book and workbook and getting back in the habit of the three long-hand pages each morning. It requires a certain amount of discipline but the effort is so worth it. For some reason, the book is not resonating with me as strongly as it has in the past and the word “recovery” really puts me off so I substitute the word “discovery” and that feels better. The 12-Step program is so evident in her work and that makes me think of a “recovering alcoholic” of which I’ve had one in my life who turned out to be the greatest disappointment of my life and the worst mistake I ever made although it did have its moments and something of lasting value did come out of the relationship. So just the fact that the word recovery brings up this “stuff” from my subconscious means that I am ready to work with it and move through it from a subconscious to a conscious level and then I can truly let go of all the negativity and be free to fill the place where that “stuff” currently is being held with goodness and light. It is time to forgive.
I have pulled all my books off the shelves and am in a major reorganization process (what to do when you are snowed in, #1). It is a process because I find myself looking through the books and finding places I’d highlighted and remembering where my head was at the time I was reading the book. I have a lot of books so this has taken me all week and today IS the day I get everything back in its place. I’ve been categorizing by subject matter for easy reference.
One of the books I perused yesterday was “Finding Each Other” by Mary Olsen Kelly and Don Kelly. It was published in 1992 which is around the time of my divorce so I was exploring my options and whenever I have questions about life, I go to the bookstore! The book I need usually jumps out at me. The sidebar on the book is “How to attract your ideal life mate using powerful visualizations, creative journaling, and personalized rituals.” Whew! From my underlines and highlights, it looks like I got as far as Chapter I, “Healing Past Loves.” Perhaps that’s why I am still alone. I’ve never really gotten beyond “healing past loves” and it’s because I have such a hard time forgiving my very own SELF! I will say that the Introduction and Chapter I contained some valuable information to which I could totally relate. On page 10 they tell me “Soul mates are partners who are bound by a karmic link that causes them to reincarnate to experience love together and spiritually evolve together.” They tell me that by reading the book, learning the concepts and doing the exercises, I will learn how to “heal and release past relationships.” They go on to say that they believe “it is never too late to find love in your life.” They tell me not to think of them as “experts” but as “guides on an emotional safari through the jungle of romance and relationships.” Well, I have to agree with them that it’s a jungle out there and after getting through that last stretch of wilderness, I’m not so inclined to go back into the jungle. Do you know what I mean?
The Kelly’s do offer some “power tools” to help me on the journey. Power tool number 2 is “forgive others” and they define this as “giving up the desire to punish yourself or to punish the other person.” They go on to tell me “As you grow and heal, however, it is like a flower opening petal by petal.” Power tool number 3 is “releasing the past.” According to them, “Forgiveness is the most powerful tool for healing the past but the next best tool is to “simply release the past.” Oh yeah, like that’s really easy. I’m told, “Remember, you are the only one suffering! You are the one who feels the pain, not your ex-lover. Chances are that your ex is long gone, off enjoying a new life and new loves.” No shit! But, I can choose to let go of the pain, “right this minute” (and they even italicize that statement) if I like. It is my choice and I can choose to let it all go; bless, forgive, and move on.
Maybe that’s why I never finished the book. I prefer a different kind of power tool. I HAVE forgiven but I will never FORGET and for now, I rather enjoy being alone. So, I guess I decided I wasn’t too interested in finding my soul mate. Guess I’m still not. Yet, I had fun reading through the book (at least through chapter one) and when I am really ready to find my soul mate, I can go back to the book and finish it and then I am sure he will materialize. After all, it’s only been 9 years since the divorce and then another 3 since the last relationship (and truly the most devastating and disappointing of ANY other thing in my life) so I’m still in the “renewing” process. That last one took me to my knees and I sure won’t make that mistake again. He was putz and I didn’t even want to see it until it was way past the point when I should have seen it and had been told and warned and yet I wanted to believe.
Wow, and just where, Sabra, did all of that come from? I watched a movie with Uma Thurman yesterday called “Motherhood.” In the movie, she was a frustrated writer trying to write a story about what motherhood meant to her. The movie addressed how having two young children changes a relationship and how the passion gets lost between two people when the responsibilities of children become the most important part of a woman’s life. Also, how a person (both man and woman) can lose their dreams and become stuck in a job or a situation that is less than what they had planned because they need to earn an income to support the family or to be at home to support the family. It addressed how tiring it can be just to do everything that needs to be done domestically to make “life” work. Up to this point, I could totally relate and then, it became the “feel good movie” with the “happy ending” that is just so much bullshit. He finds a book, sells it for $24,000 since it is a first edition signed copy and even though he would have loved to keep it for himself, he sold it just so they could pay for daycare and preschool for a couple of years so she could pursue her dream of writing. On the one hand, I thought the movie addressed some very real issues and on the other hand, it was a fairy tale with a happy ending. It is those happy endings that give HOPE to so many of us who want to BELIEVE in the fairy tale. I guess it’s pretty much the same reason I bought the book “Finding Each Other.” I want to believe in the fairy tale and I want to live happily ever after. Don’t you?
Just flashed on a memory of when I was living in the Boston area. I was in a book store and there was a pin, like a lapel pin with a saying on it. I have the pin on my visor to this very day (and that purchase was made back in 1992!) It says…”Leave me alone! I’m living happily ever after!”
Oh, but wait…that is EXACTLY what I am doing in my own way! I am snug as a bug in a rug, tucked in here with my trusty computer and my best pet friend, Wizzie, listening to beautiful music, a full day planned, and although I don’t have a “soul mate” my life is good and I am happy and peaceful. I do forgive myself. I do forgive ABC and XYZ and I cherish the good times. I do release the past and any pain or negativity surrounding either them or me and wish all of us only peace, love and joy. I know that when I am ready, he (my soul mate) will be there for me. I’m not ready yet. I have my Mom to take care of and other things to accomplish before I can give the proper amount of attention to another person. I AM HAPPY! It seems hard for some to believe that I can be happy even though I am alone and there must be something wrong with me. I don’t think so. I’m just not ready! And I don’t think it has anything to do with forgiving and releasing the past. I’m just not ready for another relationship because relationships are TIME consumptive and right now, I love my TIME to do the things I want and enjoy doing, like writing this blog. If you don’t journal, I highly recommend it!
Wow, I knew when I started the blog this morning it was going to be like the Kelly’s “emotional safari.” We've been all over the jungle this morning!
Let me share my morning reading and offer more food for thought and hopefully my work will bring some light into your day, too!
As always, I use the positive affirmations for each of the cards. I drew the 7 of Disks (Failure), I Magus and 2 of Swords (Peace). [7 Disks] I am ready to move through my fears of failure and focus on the positive. I believe that all that happens in my life (including the past failures) are for the best and help me grow and become more of who I am meant to be in this life. [I Magus] It is true that the full expression of my creative potential fulfills me and makes me happy and satisfied. [2 Swords] Deep peace fills my heart. Summarized, when I release my fears of failure, I allow my creativity to flow and when I am creative, I am at peace. It's all good!
And so it is! A great message for what is going to be a FANTASTIC day! Time now to finish up “Project Reorganization.” This really is a Spring project but since I’m “snowed in” it’s a great time for this project and when Spring comes, I’m just going to put the top down on my little pony and take a long ride!
Dreaming of Spring!
Remember, it IS a great day to be alive and the best is yet to come! Namaste!
I have my breakfast tray on the desk beside me and this morning it’s black coffee, steaming grits with lots of black pepper, and cinnamon raisin toast with raspberry jam. Wiz just lifted his head over the top of my monitor and he’s looking at me like he really wants to go for a walk. Patience! I’m enjoying my breakfast and some blogging time and then I’ll take him for a walk if I can get off the driveway. If not, he can “do his bidness” and then come on back in! Well, that was probably more than you wanted to know but the blog this morning seems to have taken on a life of its own and it’s called consciousness streaming so I’m just going to sit back and let it go where it wants! Hang on!
I got up at 6:30am, even before the alarm went off. I had it set for 6:45am and I was excited to see that I had an extra 15 minutes this morning. I considered it a gift, got up and turned off the alarm and went into the kitchen and got a “Timothy’s” brand expresso k-cup for the Kuerig coffee maker. I bought the coffee maker for my Mom for Christmas but I am enjoying it as much, if not more, that she. It’s the height of decadence! In less than 2 minutes I have a steaming hot cup of coffee in my hands and it tastes the same as if it were brewed in my espresso machine. Instant gratification. That’s what I’m talking about and we are getting so spoiled but I am happy to be spoiled in this way because I do love my morning coffee and if I don’t have to wait for it, well, I have to say it’s ALMOST as nice as having someone bring me a cup of coffee in bed. Oh, that took me someplace else and I could explore that train of thought more but I’ll leave that one alone this morning. Uh oh, had to take a moment there and let my mind play with that thought and I have to say visions of RP or JD, scantily clad in perhaps only a smile, holding a tray with my morning coffee came to mind. Stop it, Sabra! You are a wild child! Oh! Behave!
Okay, so, breathing deeply and moving on now. I did my three pages of long-hard writing as required by the “Artist’s Way” program. Our creative cluster was scheduled to start on Tuesday but we’ve moved it to next Tuesday because of the snow. I’ve been reviewing the book and workbook and getting back in the habit of the three long-hand pages each morning. It requires a certain amount of discipline but the effort is so worth it. For some reason, the book is not resonating with me as strongly as it has in the past and the word “recovery” really puts me off so I substitute the word “discovery” and that feels better. The 12-Step program is so evident in her work and that makes me think of a “recovering alcoholic” of which I’ve had one in my life who turned out to be the greatest disappointment of my life and the worst mistake I ever made although it did have its moments and something of lasting value did come out of the relationship. So just the fact that the word recovery brings up this “stuff” from my subconscious means that I am ready to work with it and move through it from a subconscious to a conscious level and then I can truly let go of all the negativity and be free to fill the place where that “stuff” currently is being held with goodness and light. It is time to forgive.
I have pulled all my books off the shelves and am in a major reorganization process (what to do when you are snowed in, #1). It is a process because I find myself looking through the books and finding places I’d highlighted and remembering where my head was at the time I was reading the book. I have a lot of books so this has taken me all week and today IS the day I get everything back in its place. I’ve been categorizing by subject matter for easy reference.
One of the books I perused yesterday was “Finding Each Other” by Mary Olsen Kelly and Don Kelly. It was published in 1992 which is around the time of my divorce so I was exploring my options and whenever I have questions about life, I go to the bookstore! The book I need usually jumps out at me. The sidebar on the book is “How to attract your ideal life mate using powerful visualizations, creative journaling, and personalized rituals.” Whew! From my underlines and highlights, it looks like I got as far as Chapter I, “Healing Past Loves.” Perhaps that’s why I am still alone. I’ve never really gotten beyond “healing past loves” and it’s because I have such a hard time forgiving my very own SELF! I will say that the Introduction and Chapter I contained some valuable information to which I could totally relate. On page 10 they tell me “Soul mates are partners who are bound by a karmic link that causes them to reincarnate to experience love together and spiritually evolve together.” They tell me that by reading the book, learning the concepts and doing the exercises, I will learn how to “heal and release past relationships.” They go on to say that they believe “it is never too late to find love in your life.” They tell me not to think of them as “experts” but as “guides on an emotional safari through the jungle of romance and relationships.” Well, I have to agree with them that it’s a jungle out there and after getting through that last stretch of wilderness, I’m not so inclined to go back into the jungle. Do you know what I mean?
The Kelly’s do offer some “power tools” to help me on the journey. Power tool number 2 is “forgive others” and they define this as “giving up the desire to punish yourself or to punish the other person.” They go on to tell me “As you grow and heal, however, it is like a flower opening petal by petal.” Power tool number 3 is “releasing the past.” According to them, “Forgiveness is the most powerful tool for healing the past but the next best tool is to “simply release the past.” Oh yeah, like that’s really easy. I’m told, “Remember, you are the only one suffering! You are the one who feels the pain, not your ex-lover. Chances are that your ex is long gone, off enjoying a new life and new loves.” No shit! But, I can choose to let go of the pain, “right this minute” (and they even italicize that statement) if I like. It is my choice and I can choose to let it all go; bless, forgive, and move on.
Maybe that’s why I never finished the book. I prefer a different kind of power tool. I HAVE forgiven but I will never FORGET and for now, I rather enjoy being alone. So, I guess I decided I wasn’t too interested in finding my soul mate. Guess I’m still not. Yet, I had fun reading through the book (at least through chapter one) and when I am really ready to find my soul mate, I can go back to the book and finish it and then I am sure he will materialize. After all, it’s only been 9 years since the divorce and then another 3 since the last relationship (and truly the most devastating and disappointing of ANY other thing in my life) so I’m still in the “renewing” process. That last one took me to my knees and I sure won’t make that mistake again. He was putz and I didn’t even want to see it until it was way past the point when I should have seen it and had been told and warned and yet I wanted to believe.
Wow, and just where, Sabra, did all of that come from? I watched a movie with Uma Thurman yesterday called “Motherhood.” In the movie, she was a frustrated writer trying to write a story about what motherhood meant to her. The movie addressed how having two young children changes a relationship and how the passion gets lost between two people when the responsibilities of children become the most important part of a woman’s life. Also, how a person (both man and woman) can lose their dreams and become stuck in a job or a situation that is less than what they had planned because they need to earn an income to support the family or to be at home to support the family. It addressed how tiring it can be just to do everything that needs to be done domestically to make “life” work. Up to this point, I could totally relate and then, it became the “feel good movie” with the “happy ending” that is just so much bullshit. He finds a book, sells it for $24,000 since it is a first edition signed copy and even though he would have loved to keep it for himself, he sold it just so they could pay for daycare and preschool for a couple of years so she could pursue her dream of writing. On the one hand, I thought the movie addressed some very real issues and on the other hand, it was a fairy tale with a happy ending. It is those happy endings that give HOPE to so many of us who want to BELIEVE in the fairy tale. I guess it’s pretty much the same reason I bought the book “Finding Each Other.” I want to believe in the fairy tale and I want to live happily ever after. Don’t you?
Just flashed on a memory of when I was living in the Boston area. I was in a book store and there was a pin, like a lapel pin with a saying on it. I have the pin on my visor to this very day (and that purchase was made back in 1992!) It says…”Leave me alone! I’m living happily ever after!”
Oh, but wait…that is EXACTLY what I am doing in my own way! I am snug as a bug in a rug, tucked in here with my trusty computer and my best pet friend, Wizzie, listening to beautiful music, a full day planned, and although I don’t have a “soul mate” my life is good and I am happy and peaceful. I do forgive myself. I do forgive ABC and XYZ and I cherish the good times. I do release the past and any pain or negativity surrounding either them or me and wish all of us only peace, love and joy. I know that when I am ready, he (my soul mate) will be there for me. I’m not ready yet. I have my Mom to take care of and other things to accomplish before I can give the proper amount of attention to another person. I AM HAPPY! It seems hard for some to believe that I can be happy even though I am alone and there must be something wrong with me. I don’t think so. I’m just not ready! And I don’t think it has anything to do with forgiving and releasing the past. I’m just not ready for another relationship because relationships are TIME consumptive and right now, I love my TIME to do the things I want and enjoy doing, like writing this blog. If you don’t journal, I highly recommend it!
Wow, I knew when I started the blog this morning it was going to be like the Kelly’s “emotional safari.” We've been all over the jungle this morning!
Let me share my morning reading and offer more food for thought and hopefully my work will bring some light into your day, too!
As always, I use the positive affirmations for each of the cards. I drew the 7 of Disks (Failure), I Magus and 2 of Swords (Peace). [7 Disks] I am ready to move through my fears of failure and focus on the positive. I believe that all that happens in my life (including the past failures) are for the best and help me grow and become more of who I am meant to be in this life. [I Magus] It is true that the full expression of my creative potential fulfills me and makes me happy and satisfied. [2 Swords] Deep peace fills my heart. Summarized, when I release my fears of failure, I allow my creativity to flow and when I am creative, I am at peace. It's all good!
And so it is! A great message for what is going to be a FANTASTIC day! Time now to finish up “Project Reorganization.” This really is a Spring project but since I’m “snowed in” it’s a great time for this project and when Spring comes, I’m just going to put the top down on my little pony and take a long ride!
Dreaming of Spring!
Remember, it IS a great day to be alive and the best is yet to come! Namaste!
Thursday, January 13, 2011
01/13/2011 - Day 4 of "Being Snowed In!"
Yes, today is DAY 4 of being snowed in. My car is still covered in snow and my driveway is one long ice slick. However, I am warm, well-fed and happy with my situation. For breakfast this morning, I got creative with the muffins.
Yes, I used the silicone butterfly muffin cups, which I highly recommend, by the way. Nothing has ever stuck in those little muffin cups and it makes me giggle to see the butterflies! I started with packaged “blueberry muffin mix (Martha White, I think) and then added some cut up, fresh strawberries to the mix. Then I decorated them with a slice on top. Must look as good as it tastes, don't you agree?!?
Since there are only five, I surmise that by now you’ve guessed Sabra ate one and you would be right! It was delicious! I'm going to have another with Mom when she gets up.
So, you may be asking yourself what I’ve been doing with my time while I’ve been “snowed in.” I have been busy reading, writing (and making pretty muffins!) besides playing rummy with my Mother. As you know, my 81-year-old Mom lives with me and I believe it is part of my duty to keep her entertained at least once or twice a day so since she loves to play rummy, I sit and play cards with her and let her tease me unmercifully while maintaining my patience.
I’ve also been doing my “morning work” fairly consistently. This is what my coffee table looks like this morning:
My morning work is an essential part of my creative process. I love to start my day with my spirit/mind/body (physical) tarot reading. It gives me an idea of what to expect and what to be aware of in my day. There are always so many opportunities for growth. This is my "message" for today:
The VIII, Adjustment/Justice card keeps coming up for me and it is also my growth card for the year. So, what does that mean? It’s the question I’ve been pondering since January 1st and I’ve looked at several different sources in my attempt to understand what it is that I am meant to know or to learn so that I can grow and become more of who I am meant to be. I look at all the sources I have available and then I go within to seek the answers that are relevant for me. The main message is about taking responsibility for my own self and recognizing personal responsibility in everything I experience.
That seems to fit with my belief that we “create our own reality” (have you heard that one before?) by either CREATING or ALLOWING something into our experience. Good, old (and he is OLD now!) Zig Ziglar said that we can have anything we want in our life by focusing on the good, the pure, the powerful, the positive and the optimistic. He said, succinctly, what so many others have said and we all hear it in the way we need to hear it when we are ready to hear it. “Change your thinking, change your life.”
William James said it best when he said "The greatest discovery of our generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind. As you think, so shall you be."
That message (VIII-Adjustment/Justice) was in the “physical” position today. In the “spirit” position I got the 10 of Swords which is “Ruin.” It means I am ready to move through a fear of ruin that has been sitting on me. I am ready to bring peace and order back into my physical reality and it starts, always, on the spiritual level. In the “mind” position came the beautiful Princess of Disks which signifies mastery of creativity and birth of new forms. When the new is given birth, the light is brought to the earth. So, with ruin, creative mastery and adjustment as my message for today, I know that I need to work on getting my room in order and reorganizing my books which is a project that has been on my plate for several months now. Once that has been done, I am setting up a “creative space” in the corner of my living room so I can paint again. I’m ready! I release my fears and negativity, fill with the new and from that will come balance and peace. That’s what my message is for today, at least as far as I understand it now. By the end of the day, I am sure I will understand even more what the message meant for me.
Pretty cool, huh? I love the Thoth Tarot because of the art and the mixture of symbols, mythology, color, and, in my opinion, it is the most beautiful of all the cards available and the most "intelligent" of all the cards available. However, I haven't really explored any other sets in depth because I knew this was the Tarot for me from the first time I picked up the pack. After 13 years of working with it, I know it was the right choice for me. For you, it may be something else. For me, it's my way of "touching God" within and without. It's a meditation while for someone else, it may be a prayer. What's important is that we touch God (or allow God to touch us) in a way that makes sense to our life. What do you think?
Here’s what Day 4 looks like from my kitchen window:
The footprints are my brother’s. I tried to go out but slipped enough to get nervous about maybe breaking a bone slipping on the ice and I decided I’d wait until it melted, which it will by Saturday when it will get up to 50! It’s all good. That looks like snow but it’s more like a long slick of ice right now. Those footprints were made two days ago, too, when it was still more like snow than ice. This is a rare occurrence here in the Atlanta area and the whole town has shut down. We haven’t even had mail all week!
Well, it’s been fun sitting here sharing with you but now it’s time for me to get up and heed my message of the morning. Much to do today and I’m very excited about being productive. Orange is the color of creativity (also sexuality but that’s for another day!)so I conclude this morning by sharing one of my paintings honoring the creative energy of the Universe. I meditate on this painting when I want to open my second chakra (energy center)and get it spinning and whirling and putting off sparks! I hope you enjoy the painting and I hope you enjoy your day. It’s your gift to do with what you will. Make it a great day for YOU!
It IS a great day to be alive and the best is yet to come! Namaste, my friends!
Yes, I used the silicone butterfly muffin cups, which I highly recommend, by the way. Nothing has ever stuck in those little muffin cups and it makes me giggle to see the butterflies! I started with packaged “blueberry muffin mix (Martha White, I think) and then added some cut up, fresh strawberries to the mix. Then I decorated them with a slice on top. Must look as good as it tastes, don't you agree?!?Since there are only five, I surmise that by now you’ve guessed Sabra ate one and you would be right! It was delicious! I'm going to have another with Mom when she gets up.
So, you may be asking yourself what I’ve been doing with my time while I’ve been “snowed in.” I have been busy reading, writing (and making pretty muffins!) besides playing rummy with my Mother. As you know, my 81-year-old Mom lives with me and I believe it is part of my duty to keep her entertained at least once or twice a day so since she loves to play rummy, I sit and play cards with her and let her tease me unmercifully while maintaining my patience.
I’ve also been doing my “morning work” fairly consistently. This is what my coffee table looks like this morning:
My morning work is an essential part of my creative process. I love to start my day with my spirit/mind/body (physical) tarot reading. It gives me an idea of what to expect and what to be aware of in my day. There are always so many opportunities for growth. This is my "message" for today:
The VIII, Adjustment/Justice card keeps coming up for me and it is also my growth card for the year. So, what does that mean? It’s the question I’ve been pondering since January 1st and I’ve looked at several different sources in my attempt to understand what it is that I am meant to know or to learn so that I can grow and become more of who I am meant to be. I look at all the sources I have available and then I go within to seek the answers that are relevant for me. The main message is about taking responsibility for my own self and recognizing personal responsibility in everything I experience.
That seems to fit with my belief that we “create our own reality” (have you heard that one before?) by either CREATING or ALLOWING something into our experience. Good, old (and he is OLD now!) Zig Ziglar said that we can have anything we want in our life by focusing on the good, the pure, the powerful, the positive and the optimistic. He said, succinctly, what so many others have said and we all hear it in the way we need to hear it when we are ready to hear it. “Change your thinking, change your life.”
William James said it best when he said "The greatest discovery of our generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind. As you think, so shall you be."
That message (VIII-Adjustment/Justice) was in the “physical” position today. In the “spirit” position I got the 10 of Swords which is “Ruin.” It means I am ready to move through a fear of ruin that has been sitting on me. I am ready to bring peace and order back into my physical reality and it starts, always, on the spiritual level. In the “mind” position came the beautiful Princess of Disks which signifies mastery of creativity and birth of new forms. When the new is given birth, the light is brought to the earth. So, with ruin, creative mastery and adjustment as my message for today, I know that I need to work on getting my room in order and reorganizing my books which is a project that has been on my plate for several months now. Once that has been done, I am setting up a “creative space” in the corner of my living room so I can paint again. I’m ready! I release my fears and negativity, fill with the new and from that will come balance and peace. That’s what my message is for today, at least as far as I understand it now. By the end of the day, I am sure I will understand even more what the message meant for me.
Pretty cool, huh? I love the Thoth Tarot because of the art and the mixture of symbols, mythology, color, and, in my opinion, it is the most beautiful of all the cards available and the most "intelligent" of all the cards available. However, I haven't really explored any other sets in depth because I knew this was the Tarot for me from the first time I picked up the pack. After 13 years of working with it, I know it was the right choice for me. For you, it may be something else. For me, it's my way of "touching God" within and without. It's a meditation while for someone else, it may be a prayer. What's important is that we touch God (or allow God to touch us) in a way that makes sense to our life. What do you think?
Here’s what Day 4 looks like from my kitchen window:
The footprints are my brother’s. I tried to go out but slipped enough to get nervous about maybe breaking a bone slipping on the ice and I decided I’d wait until it melted, which it will by Saturday when it will get up to 50! It’s all good. That looks like snow but it’s more like a long slick of ice right now. Those footprints were made two days ago, too, when it was still more like snow than ice. This is a rare occurrence here in the Atlanta area and the whole town has shut down. We haven’t even had mail all week!
Well, it’s been fun sitting here sharing with you but now it’s time for me to get up and heed my message of the morning. Much to do today and I’m very excited about being productive. Orange is the color of creativity (also sexuality but that’s for another day!)so I conclude this morning by sharing one of my paintings honoring the creative energy of the Universe. I meditate on this painting when I want to open my second chakra (energy center)and get it spinning and whirling and putting off sparks! I hope you enjoy the painting and I hope you enjoy your day. It’s your gift to do with what you will. Make it a great day for YOU!
It IS a great day to be alive and the best is yet to come! Namaste, my friends!
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
2011 - Chakras, Tarot, Personal Growth, Lions, Tigers and Bears, OH MY!
Welcome 2011! I chose that painting because it has all the colors of the chakras and then I noticed that it is upside down. I painted the picture some years back and gave it to my daughter who has it on her wall. When I was at her house Christmas, I decided to take a couple of pictures of some of the paintings. Obviously, I didn't sign this one so she placed it in the position that made the most sense to her and I love that she did it! She captured my journey. I long to stay in upper chakras but my life is about learning to live in the lower chakras. The green, the color of the heart chakra is the place of peace for me. I live my life sensually, stimulated by sounds, colors and textures. I've studied color therapy and aromatherapy and other "therapy" and conclude there is true and value to all of it FOR ME! For those who don't know, chakras are energy centers in the body and an ancient wisdom. So much of what I find valuable in my life is ancient although new to me. There's a quote that comes to mind that "there is nothing new under the sun" and I understand the truth in that quote.
I won't get into a discourse about the chakras here but there's plenty of information on the internet if you are interested in knowing more. If not, that's okay, too.
Every year for the past 13 years, on January 1st I do a "Whole Person Reading" which I learned about in Angeles Arrien's book "The Tarot Handbook." On page 267 she writes: "The Whole Person Spread or the Celtic Cross Spread is the oldest spread in all of Tarot history. It is the spread that has survived since the Middle Ages." She goes on to say "It is the best spread to do, once a year, as an overview for the quality of work that you want to manifest in all arenas of your life, personally, professionally, and spiritually."
I will share with you my reading for 2011, if you're interested. At the end of this year, I will go back and revisit this reading and gain a greater understanding of ME for that's my entire purpose for doing the reading. I want to understand ME better. That is what my writing is all about, after all. I want to understand ME better. And, if in my process and in the sharing of my own process YOU can understand YOU better and we are both enlightenen and enriched by the knowledge then light has shined through and that's also what I desire.
I have been learning about the Thoth Tarot since 1997 and there is so much I still don't know and if I lived to be 500 years old, I doubt I would still know all there is to know. I am so interested in EVERYTHING and sometimes I become so over stimulated and go in so many different directions I have to take a moment to center and balance or I may implode or self-fragment. Do you ever feel that way? There is so much to know and I want it all and right now!
I have purchased a number of other books about the Thoth Tarot and learned something different from each and took what felt right and incorporated it into my "library" and let the rest go. My two favorites are two of my oldest and Angeles Arrien's book is a great book for beginners as is "Tarot ~ Mirror of the Soul" by Gerd Ziegler.
I love Gerd's book because in his foreword, written in 1984, he says that "Just as we use a mirror to observe our exterior, we can use the images of the Tarot to approach our inner reality." He goes on to say "Many people are afraid to confront their inner reality." In the next paragraph he says "...we learn to accept and love ourselves only when we stop trying to hide, and hide from, our inner reality."
Gerd Zeigler says "We can use the Tarot as a map, drawn in symbols, indicating the roadsigns on the inner path." Going one step further, Angeles Arrien states "The Tarot is a symbolic map of consciousness and an ancient book of wisdom that reveals to us visually and symbolically the creative ideas and states of consciousness that appear in multiple existence in ALL CULTURES!" (My emphasis)
Again, there's a wealth of information out there if you're interested but it is so easy, especially for me, to be overwhelmed by the wealth of information. I'm taking it one, two, three or four books at a time! If you'd like to see my reading, just send me an e-mail or a comment and I am happy to share. I did save it in pdf format but don't know how to share it here so I'll leave it as an "if you are interested, ask and I will share!"
Well, I have much to accomplish this afternoon but I have been meaning to sit down and write and the hardest part is to just start, as it always is..."the journey of a thousand miles" and all that!
So, enough of the esoteric and on to the personal...
Job/Professional - Job ended 01/07/11 without burning any bridges. It was a good mirror for me. It was difficult to be around all the angst and petty manipulations and working in an office with ALL women, most of whom still get their periods kept me in a place of being grateful that all of that is behind me. I felt, most days, as if I were in the "Twilight Zone" as my head is so far from the reality of that job that it took every minute on the way to work to get my "mind right" and go in and do what needed to be done. It wasn't a good fit. On the one hand, I believe in the premise. They are fundraisers and a large part of the money does go to help people who need it. I buy into that and I love it! On the other hand, it was a microcosm of life and there was a rigidity and corporate structure I just do not fit into and never have in any job with that structured mentality. It doesn't allow for creativity and really sits on personal growth. Anyhow, I do not want to say anything negative as I did fall in love with each individual for who they were and I was interested in their path. I felt like the ugly duckling in the pack and now that I've been "kicked out" I can find my true home. It's all good and I will hold the memories of that job close for more reasons than one and I wish them all nothing but success and happiness. For my part, I am glad it's over and I believe I left the "position" in a much better state than when I walked into it and I did a good job with the tools they gave me. So, I think that's a win-win and now I'm on to the next thing God has planned for me and I can't wait!
I did have a job interview scheduled for Tuesday (because I was supposed to take Mom to a Doctor's appointment on Monday) but both had to be "delayed" because we are "snowed in" which is something rare in the Atlanta area where I live. I can't get down my driveway and my car is covered in about 4 inches of snow. So, it will all have to wait until next week. I've used my "snowed in" time to rest, rejuvenate, clear my energy and get ready to rock and roll in 2011.
I'm forming a creative cluster and we're meeting on Tuesday nights at my house (again delayed because of the snow) and I feel a whole new creative burst coming in 2011. I have an idea for a Spring Retreat to follow the 12-week process we begin next week. I'm considering New Beginnings in Dahlonega as a venue and a Mind/Body/Spirit retreat that I'll open to about 6-8 people to keep it an intimate experience.
My focus this year is on health and personal growth. I am going to give more attention to diet, exercise and I will treat myself bi-monthly to a massage. I deserve it! Personal growth is on the agenda for EVERY YEAR of my life as is spiritual growth, which is really at the very top.
My Mom is still living with me and she had her 81st birthday on December 21st. It's interesting living with a parent and having to adjust my life. I was perfectly happy all by myself with my Wizzie as my best pet friend yet God intended more for me. I won't say I accepted it all with as much dignity as I could have but I am doing what I feel is right and I'm trying to take care of her as best I can without losing my mind. She's not a difficult person to live with but between her craziness and mine it gets a little touchy at times. I try to see each day with her as a gift and an opportunity to learn more about myself (the goal of L-I-F-E). I try to be patient, kind, giving, loving and attentive. AND I am trying to also stay aware of taking care of ME! SABRA! I feel honor bound to do this for her and I guess being the oldest of four children, it's just a part of who I am. I couldn't bear the thought of her living out her days all alone in Destin. So, she's with me. Still, that doesn't mean I cannot continue to honor my own self and my own needs.
That's part of my process for 2011. I want to paint and fall in love with my yard and gardening again. All of that died within me for a while but I feel it bubbling up again. It's been an interesting journey since my lucrative job ended in 2008. Not only did I lose my job but I lost a best friend at the same time and those are two hard things to lose at one time. I took the time to help my Mother out of her quagmire while falling into my own as a result.
At some point, I will have to go back to Destin with her. I had hoped my brother would do it but it looks like that will fall on my shoulders again. I loathe the thought of going there and it makes the bile rise up in my throat just to think about it. Yet I will do it if I must and I'll prepare myself before I go. Some people think Destin, Florida is one of the greatest places on Earth. Not to me. It's a reminder of pain, sadness, suffering and I really have absolutely NO HAPPY MEMORIES of the place nor any desire to ever go there again. Yet one must sometimes do that which causes one the most pain, I suppose. Is that resignation or my walk through fire to become more of who I am meant to be? I don't know the answer to that questions right now. I'll get back to you when I figure it out.
Wizzie, at 15, is still my best buddy and although he is deaf, he is still getting around pretty and still loves a good walk.
I've been in my house five years which is a very long time for me to be in one place. There are many things to be said about home ownership but I believe I just may be a gypsy at heart and my fondest dream is a "mansion on 4-wheels" where I can live, travel, read, paint, study, and stay in beautiful places for as long as I want or move on if the spirit moves me. I'm not attached to the house although I love it dearly. I will sell it someday to someone who will appreciate it "specialness" when I no longer have Mom with me. When that happens, I will be out to see you...in my "mansion on 4-wheels!" That is "somewhere down the road" though!
So, let's see...job, Mom, Wiz, home, oh...family...Well, my family is all healthy and happy, for the most part. There was a divorce in the family last year that was pretty devastating for all of us but life goes on and we continue to love them all. Right now there's a "separation" due to a financial situation but it's temporary and at least it is NOT a divorce. We had a new baby enter our lives last year and what a blessing that always is! There are now 7 grandchildren and each is perfect and beautiful and special in their own way.
So, that leaves only "relationship." Not much to say about that one. There isn't a significant other in my life (besides Wizzie) and I'm not really open to one right now. Maybe later or whenever God sees fit to put someone in my path but I'm not looking and don't really have the time or the inclination. Sometimes I think it would be nice to have someone to kiss and hug but then I remember there's always more that goes with it (even if you can kick them out the next morning) and I just don't want to put my energy there at this time. Maybe down the road but not yet. I'll keep you posted. For now, I'm seeing a "mansion on 4 wheels" only big enough for one but two can travel twice as far so we'll see when the time comes. It might be nice to find another gypsy and if he's an artist, that would be awesome, too!
I am excited about 2011. This year begins a new cycle for me and it is a growth year! Hope yours is equally exciting.
More to come! Stay posted! It IS a great day to be alive and the best is yet to come! NAMASTE my friends!
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