Tuesday, June 23, 2009

My new job is stimulating and exciting and I'm still trying to get organized and learn what I'm supposed to be accomplishing. My greatest challenge right now is structuring my time so that I can accomplish all that I want to accomplish in my day, including "MY" time for the things that are important to me (like my blog, e-mail, journalling, working on the books I'm writing, staying in touch with family and friends and taking good care of my Wiz-man!). I don't have it down yet but I'm getting better. As it is, I have 3 more minutes to write and then I have to jump in the shower, walk Wiz and hit to door running. That's the way I like to hit the door...RUNNING. I'm learning to become more consistent and I have to write down my daily goals just to help me remember all that I need and want to do although I haven't yet reached a point where I get to tick off everything (I mean, that takes TIME, too).

Time is a concept but it's also a gift to each of us and something I just never seem to have enough of so I stop, take a few deep breaths, get into the MOMENT (instead of the moments that are to come), remember to smile and feel the air enter and leave my body and just give THANKS for the many, many blessings in my life and for the health and energy to do what I want and need to do. How do YOU structure your day to "maximize" it's potential? I'm always interested in knowing a better way and always looking for the better way. Even though time and minutes may be just a concept...I want to make the most of every SECOND of every DAY so that when it's all said and done...well, let's not talk about all said and done and let's just stay in this MOMENT...SEE, I AM LEARNING AS I GO!

So, to that end, carpe diem! It IS a great day to be alive in America and I am expecting a miracle (actually, more than one) today. I've already had a couple so I'm ahead of the game (is it a game?)...just a figure of speech but perhaps like a game...it's what we make of it!

Loving you all...

Namaste! (and now I AM off and running...and LOVING it!)

Sunday, June 21, 2009 - HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

Remembering five wonderful fathers in my life this day! My own Dad, my ex-husband, my son and my two son-in-laws! God bless them!

Well, it's been a pretty exciting couple of weeks for me and I've been so busy I haven't had the time to sit down and blog and I've missed it! I am still an Artist in transition but the total transition will have to wait a few more years but in the mean time, I'll paint whenever I can and make my cards, angels and motivational moments as time permits but I have a new focus to take up a very large percentage of my time and I intend to give it my best effort.

After 7 months of unemployment I am "gainfully" employed once again and excited to be working full time again. I'm excited because this is, hopefully, my LAST project and I am delighted to be working with good people and I hope I will be a good influence and a good employee. I'll do my best, that's for sure.

Working will enable me to get a little more financially secure so that I can get the things I will need when I do art full time, which is retirement which is about 5-1/2 years from now. My goal now is to be able to save enough to do my rafting trip down the Colorado River through the Grand Canyon next year. There are adventures ahead for me and helping these good people attain their goals and vision will allow me to do the same for my own self. I feel like God had put me where I am and I am grateful for his goodness!

I'm still in the midst of my "Artist's Way" workshops and a lot of good is coming from the weekly meetings. I'm glad I've still got this going on for another 9 weeks because it will help me to keep myself focused on my art as well as my livlihood. What I have found is that I need to be more organized to accomplish all that I want to accomplish in a day.

I was called Thursday a week ago to come in for an interview, which I did. She called and I showed up! I didn't hear anything on Friday but on Monday, they called me back for another interview and before I left, they offered me the position and I was to start the NEXT MORNING! I didn't even have time to get my head wrapped around it before I dove in. Such is the way of my life. I didn't even think twice, I just say yes and then I praised God all the way home for bringing us together.

It was a bit of a crazy week for me and next week will be even crazier because I'm IT and the girl who I am replacing left on Friday so I've got to start getting things figured out for my own self next week. I will and I'm looking forward to the challenge.

There is no such thing as job security any more so I don't know if this job will last a week, a month, a year or the whole 5-1/2 years but I will take it one day at a time and do my best each day and if it goes the full 5-1/2 years, wonderful and if it doesn't then I know something else will come along but I will do everything within my power to help them be successful. I've worked for two "Entrepreneurs of the Year" and I've got a gut feeling that the man I'm working for now has that same potential. He's very smart and he has a vision AND he seems to be a good family man and that's important to me, too. My family is the most important part of my life so I enjoy working for someone who feels the same way.

I missed painting with my group of artists last week but I am not regretting no longer being able to paint with them. I am, instead, feeling very grateful for the time I had with them and will perhaps see them in the future in some other way. I want to stay in touch with my painting friends, for sure.

Things are pretty good in my life right now. I finally put the "RBJ" "thing" (I don't even know what to call it) to bed...that relationship is now buried and I have a big wreath on the mound that says "Thank you for my lessons learned." Am I looking for another relationship? Nahhh...not yet. I've so much to do right now and there's barely enough time to get through my day and I don't know where I'd fit a relationship in to my schedule. I'm fine without it. I know some people who can't seem to survive without having someone in their life in that capacity. Fortunately for me, I'm not one of those people. I do pretty well on my own and whenever I get lonely, I just grab my grandkids and go have some fun.

Saturday I picked up my 3 Alvarez angels and took them to see the new Ben Stiller movie, "Night at the Museum - Smithsonian" and we had a good time and some good laughs. We ended the evening at Dairy Queen and they walked out with "blizzards" and long spoons! I filled them with candy, popcorn, soda pop, hot dog, popcorn shrimp, french fries and ice cream! I'm a good MIMI! I don't go it often so what the heck. A little sugar never killed anyone, did it? I enjoyed listening to them laugh at the movie and my granddaughter's laugh makes me want to giggle myself! She's such a joy to me!

Well, much still to do but I did want to pop in and say hello and bring you up to date on what's going on with me. Every day, I expect a miracle and I'm never disappointed! Everymore I wake up and thank God for one more day!

I'm so grateful the drought is over and I'm watering as I write (sprinkler) because it was so hot today! This has been a wonderful (and long) Spring and the gardens have been a joy. I still have lots of lilies blooming and now the Glads have started blooming and I have some pink and red ones in a vase in the house. God is good.

It IS a great day to be alive in America! Look for, expect, your miracles, too...I'm sure there are many in store for you!

Sending love and light to all of my wonderful friends. I love you all so much!

Namaste!


This picture was taken on June 11th when I went to the Atlanta Botanical Gardens with my dear friend, Sam. We had a blast and I love this found and this is one of the remaining Dale Chihuley's that remains at the Garden. I LOVE IT! It was a wonderful day and I felt blessed to be able to celebrate the birthday of a special friend in such a wonderful way!

Synchronicity?

Wednesday - 06/10/09 - 9:15am - It is truly a wonderful day and I'm filled with so much energy the air is popping around me. I don't have much time to write this morning because I've got to drop Wiz off at the groomer's at 9:45am and then get to my painting group by 10:00am. It's a tight schedule but it WILL work! I'm so happy to be able to get Wiz in to the groomer's today. I haven't been able to have him groomed as regularly as I would like since the "end of the job" but my brother's paying for this one so I'm sending much gratitude out into the Universe for my precious, generous, kind and so sweet brother, Jack! I love you, Bro! (Just like to say that...tee hee!)

When we started our journey on the "Artists Way" three weeks ago, we were alerted to be aware of synchonicity or events that occur "seemingly out of the blue" but really have relevance and inter-relatedness. This morning, synchronicity and the abundance of it are high on my "I see" list!

Yesterday, I was going through the books at Goodwill and there was "The Way of the Wizard" by Deepak Chopra. I had purchased the tapes years ago (1995-1996) but when I picked up the book yesterday, I was ready to REALLY hear what he had to say. The Way of the Wizard is "Twenty Spiritual Lessons in Creating the Life You Want." Hmmmmm.... The work we are doing at our Artist's Way workshops is about "creating...the life we want...through our "spiritual journey" to creativity and realizing that we each have the power WITHIN us that we need to complete our journey. The Way of the Wizard is about finding that wizard WITHIN us that we need to complete our journey. And not just complete the journey but completing it IN THE WAY WE WANT. It's our choice. It's all within us. The answers are all there. Synchronicity?

The Law of Attraction, Science of Mind, the "Secret" (not really such a secret!)...it's all about changing your thinking, changing your life. How do we change our thinking? Conscious thought? Oh...synchronicity in action in my life!

My affirmations for today are that I follow my heart and I'm open and ready to go where it may lead me. I find the strength I need at my center. My life is IN ORDER and I am ready for my new beginning." WOW. And so it is.

Seems we ALL have everything we need WITHIN. It's when we take the time to BE STILL we can connect with the Universal Spirit, the Oneness, GOD, Goddess, our Higher Self, Higher Power, whatever words you want to use the message is the same.

Is this an epiphany? No! Is it something that I didn't already know? No! Is it something I've been using consciously? No! I am making that conscious choice to live with awareness and I am expecting miracles in my life EVERY DAY...and it's working. Change your mind, change your life. I've heard it and heard it and heard it and I think I am FINALLY getting it. Yes, I am FINALLY getting it!

I hope you GET IT today, too. Those of us who are pseudo-hippies from the "old days" knew all this "back then" and we just got caught up in "the world." More on that tomorrow. It's still all about LOVE...the holy grail...

Time to run but this is getting interesting. Hang in there with me and we'll transition together! Have a beautiful day and NAMASTE!

Back at it...and feeling WONDERFUL!

Sometimes, we just need to "feel" what we need to feel and I have to admit I went through a time of "feeling" but I am the better for it. I worked through all the "stuff" around RBJ and I think I've got it figures out. At least enough that I am feeling good again and back to painting, sketching, studying, gardening, and HAVING FUN! Every day is a gift and I unwrap it slowly and savor it, starting my morning with my spiritual work.

I'm facilitating an "Artist's Way" workshop at in my studio and we are on Week 2 in the book although we're meeting for the 3rd time. The first week was about how the workshop would run, what's expected, and a basic introduction to the plan. The second week, we covered the first chapter in the book "Recovering a Sense of Safety" and did a fun exercise together. This week, we'll cover "Recovering a Sense of Identity." I am excited about the next 10 weeks and my journey with these wonderful ladies who have joined me in this voyage inwards to discover, recover and explore our creative selves from a place of spirituality and trust. "As you teach, so you will learn" rolls around in my mind and I am learning so much, not only about my fellow travelers but about my own self. I'm liking my own, too.

I think the month I took off was about learning to love my own self again. I let myself go into "victim" mode. I needed to experience that and then, one day, it was like waking up from a dream. Maybe delving back in to the Course in Miracles shook my soul enough for me to see that I was choosing to play the victim role. It was a choice and I was choosing to be miserable. So, I wallowed in it for a while. I wallowed in self-pity and self-abuse long enough to KNOW that I was making the wrong choices for the way I want to live my life. I forgave myself. I forgave RBJ. I forgave everyone who I perceived had ever "hurt" me because I really don't think anyone I have or have had in my life sat down and thought..."hmmmmm, what can I do to really f-up Sabra?" Nope, I don't believe that was the case but I was just wallowing around in the deep hole I'd fallen in to and bathing in the self-pity, martydom until I looked up and saw the sunlight at the top of the hole and noticed the rope and I pulled myself up out of the mire. I like the sunlight much better than the scary hole but as I climbed the rope out of the hole, I got stronger with each movement to get up the rope. I got stronger and stronger and it became clearer and brighter and when I got to the top of the hole, I looked down and gave thanks for my time there because I was sure a better person as a result of having been there. I make the conscious choice to be all that God wants me to be and to enjoy every single moment, to the best of my ability, for the rest of my life.

I've been on the South Beach diet for about a month and my clothes are starting to be more comfortable. I want to be physically healthy so I can enjoy all the opportunities available to me. I want to ride my bike and feel the freedom of movement and the wind in my hair and the sun on my head. I want to walk, swing my arms and feel the fresh air entering my lungs as I breathe deeply. I want to find love again. Yes, this was a biggie for me but I do want to have someone to share my life with and I know, when the time is perfect, he will appear in my life. I'm not looking but I just know it will happen. I know everything I DON'T want in a companion so that must mean I know what I DO want...I want someone who will read poetry to me, bring me flowers and do thoughtful things for me just to see me smile. In return, I'll go to baseball games and do the same thoughtful things for him. I want someone independent who doesn't NEED me but wants to be with me just because I'm fun to be around. So, to make that happen, I NEED to be fun to be around and the Sabra that was in that hole was NOT fun to be around and that's why I "went away" for a while. I needed to get things sorted out.

That having been said, I am also aware that perhaps a companion is not a part of my destiny and I have things that I am meant to accomplish. So, that could be a possibility and if it is becomes a reality, I'm okay with that, too because I won't live my life "waiting." I will LIVE my life, every day, in the way I want to live it. I will do what I want to do and be who I want to be and I can do it with or without someone at my side.

I found a handwritten note in one of my books that RBJ has written when we first got back together. It had a list of things "we" wanted. A home, a garden, a picket fence, etc. Guess what...I brought every single thing on the list into my reality. I did it and I have all of the things "we" wanted. I made it happen and I guess I pushed him out of my, too because his words didn't match his actions. In many scenarios, his actions didn't match his words and I finally realized it. It was an epiphany and something I had resisted for too many years. I didn't want to believe that he was NOT who I thought he was and finally, I did. I believe it. That's when I started seeing the light. I first had to forgive my own self for seeing only what I wanted to see instead of seeing the whole, true picture. It doesn't mean he's a bad person, at all. In fact, he's a very good person. He's just not the right person for ME and I accept that now and I believe it and I am ready, at last (after over 40 years) to move beyond trying to hold on to something that was never there.

You'd think I'd have gotten to that place many, many years ago. I would never have dreamed that I wouldn't have it all "figured" out by this age. But "this age" is just more of any other day that came before. I'm still a newborn, but more. I'm still a toddler, but more. I'm still a teenager, but more. I'm still 30, but more. We're still EVERYTHING we ever were, but MORE and yet sometimes, we get stuck in a place and time