Sitting here relaxing tonight but my mind is going ninety to
nothing. So, I’m “writing it out” which
is always a good thing for me. I love to
write and I can get a little wordy but isn’t that what authors do?
So, where to start tonight?
Dr. Wayne Dyer. He
was an author and he said that if you do what you love, everything else will
follow. I believe him. I read
all of his books and he never said anything that didn’t make complete sense to
me. He made me feel hopeful and good
about myself and my spiritual path, which seemed to mirror his. He transitioned last year and I sure miss his
daily writings and reading him on Facebook and sharing his sage words of wisdom
and motivation. He may be on the other
side but he is still here with me, a part of me because of the way I view life and because of
how he touched my spirit.
He wrote about “manifesting your destiny” and I am working
hard to manifest the destiny that I want in my final years before I, too,
transition. Before I can manifest, I
have to get clear about what it is that I want.
Right now I am exactly where I need and want to be but I am dreaming and working toward manifesting the destiny I am dreaming.
I’m sitting here on my sofa on this Friday night and my
little Chihuahua, Paco, is licking my leg right now which makes me giggle. I love that little rascal so much. He was, and is, one of my miracles. I can’t honestly say I was expecting that
miracle but God knows best and he brought him into my life and I’m so glad I
was open to that miracle. I’ve got a
cold beer and I’m listening to Van Morrison radio on Pandora as I write. Rambling Man by The Allman Brothers Band is
playing and anyone that knows me knows that I absolutely love The Allman
Brothers Band and Gregg Allman was supposed to be my next husband but he just
never got the word. “Blue Sky” playing
now from the “Dreams” album. Seems
appropriate because I’m all about dreaming these days.
I’ve been divorced for 23 years now so I’ve been single
almost as long as I was before I got married.
I was 25 and ready to be a wife and mother. It was a dream and it happened. Although I’m divorced I can honestly say I
still love my ex-husband and we are good friends. He is remarried and I like his wife and I am
so happy that we can all be friends and have family get-togethers without any
uncomfortable feelings. We had our time
and then, as Gregg Allman sang…it was time for moving on. We were together 20 years and three children came out of that time together and now we have seven grandchildren to share. It was a good dream and I'm glad it became a reality.
Before the last two songs, “Landslide” by Stevie Nicks
played. That’s the song my son chose for
us to dance to when he got married and I can’t hear that son without getting a
little heart-twinge for so many reasons.
I was honored he chose that song and my son is one of my many, many
blessings in this life.
I feel fortunate to have had, and still have, so many of my
good friends in my life. “For What It’s Worth” by Buffalo Springfield playing
now. So much of my life I can relive in
an instant just by hearing a song. My
life has been filled with music and it’s hard to separate living and
music. It’s a “my generation” thing I
think.
Like I said, my mind is going ninety to nothing tonight and
I’m bouncing around all over the place here, aren’t I. Do you ever do that?
Since this is a 3-day weekend because Memorial Day is
Monday, I’m going to spend time with my friends that live up in Dahlonega for
the weekend. I feel a little guilty
because there is so much yard work and house work that needs to be done but I
wouldn’t miss spending time with my friends because, at this point in my life,
I realize the importance of not putting those things off.
Three people who were very important in my life passed away
last year. My Mom, a dear friend and the
person I thought was the love of my life.
I hadn’t seen my friend in a while and I’d always “been meaning” to call
her and get together and then it was too late because she was gone.
“Can’t you see” by The Marshall Tucker Band from the “Searchin’
for a Rainbow” album playing now. Wow,
so much good music on this Van Morrison station. Can you remember where you were when you
first heard that song? I can. I remember a waterbed that the heater had
gone out on and sleeping on blankets that would slip off and I’d be freezing my
butt off by morning or so snuggled up next to Tim you couldn’t get a pin
between us. Good memories!
Anyhow, I’ve decided not to let an opportunity to spend time
with a friend pass me by. I’ve been on
the go for the past five weeks and next weekend I’m promising myself a “down”
week end when I catch up on some of the things I’ve been letting slide but I’ll
think about that tomorrow, or next week or maybe I won’t even think about it
until next Saturday or Sunday. There are
more important things to think about right now.
“If I Ever Needed Someone” by Van Morrison playing now. It speaks to my heart and makes me want to
get up and close my eyes and sway with the music. His voice always does that to me. Beautiful, instense, passionate Van
Morrison. There’s no one current who can
compare.
“The Weight” by The Band now. I guess listening to “my music” makes me
remember my youth and the dreams of my youth.
I’m no longer young but I feel like I’m about to graduate again. Retirement is a couple of years down the road
and big changes are coming for me. Good
things are happening and every day I expect a miracle and I’m not
disappointed.
So, with that having been said, I’m going to get up and
start doing a little light housekeeping and getting my stuff together to take
off with Paco tomorrow. My sister lives
in the house right next to me and my neighbor on the other side is always
watching my house AND I ALWAYS put a big bubble of Light around my house
whenever I go away to protect it but I leave with no fear knowing I have people
I trust looking out for me and for my home.
“Fortunate Son” by CCR playing now. Takes me back to the days when I became an
anti-war protestor, not that it did any good.
There’s more war in this world today than ever and it breaks my
heart. I still want to believe that we
can all love each other and live in peace but I don’t see it happening in my
lifetime. It’s Memorial Day on Monday
and I honor all those who served and if I let myself think on it too much, my
heart gets heavy. I don’t think I want
to go there now.
I feel fortunate to have been born in the time and the place
I was born. Life has been good. It hasn’t always been easy and I wouldn’t
want it to be because if you don’t have sadnesses and make mistakes, how can
you grow as a human being? I believe I
came here to grow spiritually. I’m working
on that every day.
I say good-night now while “Hotel California” by the Eagles
is playing. Oh California! So many memories there but that’s for another
day.
Expect a miracle and give thanks when you get it! Namaste
everyone.
