In 1977 when my first child, a son we named Joshua, was in my arms, only three days old, I marveled at his perfection and was filled with the wonder a first time Mother will understand. In the span of a moment, I saw his conception, birth, childhood, teen years, graduation from high school and college and marriage. The tears on my face brought me back to reality and I realized all those events were somewhere down the road and right now, I was holding a small bundle of possibility.
Somewhere down the road, I was blessed with two more small bundles of possibility and today, in 2009, they each have their own bundles of possibility and somewhere down the road has happened for all three of my children who are now parents themselves and are dreaming their own dreams for their children and travelling their own road.
A marriage to a wonderful person who loved them dearly and a beautiful ceremony to commemorate that love was something I had dreamed for each of my children. That dream did come true and all three experienced a beautiful wedding, in a way that was perfect for them and a delight to me.
Joshua was married in a small, intimate wedding at a “Victorian Garden” in Denver, Colorado on a beautiful Spring day, April 30, 2000. A a violinist in a long, flowered gown played aoft, sweet music in the background as the guests were seated. A quote by one of my favorite poets, Kahlil Gibran” was spoken as a part of the service. The verse was about love and it was their choice because neither knew how much I enjoy Gibran so I was touched that they had found him on their own. For the Mother/Son dance at the reception, Joshua had chosen the Stevie Nicks song “Landslide” for the two of us to dance together and we both cried tears of joy and sadness at the same time and the song will always be meaningful to me. Bubbles were blowing from a machine above the dance floor and the softly falling bubbles gave the room a feeling of joy and lightheartedness. I’ve always thought bubbles contained wishes and hearts desires so the bubbles were perfect for the occasion. The event was a lovely coming together of two hearts and two families.
Jessica, born two years after Joshua, was married at a place called "Vecoma at The Yellow River" near Stone Mountain, Georgia on November 1, 1997. "Vecoma at The Yellow River" is marketed as Atlanta's most charming and distinctive special events facility that is set upon a magnificently wooded forest and is the perfect location for weddings. The plan was to have the ceremony, at dusk, with Jessica and Arlo standing at River's edge, under the trees which were wearing their fall splendor of orange, yellow and red. However, just before the ceremony began, it started to rain. So, we moved the wedding inside the lovely, riverside lodge with 14-foot-high ceilings, a huge stone fireplace, and french doors leading to a HUGE deck overlooking the Yellow River where they would have been married. Instead, they were married in front of a roaring fire which had been made to take the chill off the wet Spring evening. They were married under an arch which had been quickly set up in front of the fireplace. Huge candelabra filled with white candles were placed on either end of the fireplace. The wedding, like my Jessica, was more traditional and perfect for her and her new husband. Her Dad and I cried tears of joy and sadness as she walked down the aisle and took her place beside Arlo. The event was another lovely coming together of two hearts and two families.
Jenny, my third child born in 1988, was married to Elliot on April 18, 2009. The ceremony took place in a meadow, reached by crossing a small foot bridge over a bubbling brook. The vows were spoken under an arbor her husband had built of saplings he’d cut for the occasion as birds chirped and the sound of the brook played it's own song for the occasion. We had hung white tulle from the arbor to dress it up a bit but otherwise left it rustic. The meadow was at “the Briar Patch” in the North Georgia mountains near Blue Ridge which is property owned by her husband’s family and the ashes of his grandfather, whom he had loved dearly, had been scattered in that meadow so his spirit was strong there for Elliot. It was another of those perfect early Spring days with flowers bursting abloom and the trees putting on their new raiment of green and everything smelled fresh and new as we celebrated their love and beginning of life together.
Three of life’s dreams come true, not only for me but for my children. The road I was on in 1977 veered right and I was along for the ride. What a journey it has been!
I didn’t foresee on that day in 1977 when I was first marveling at my newborn son that by the time of the first wedding in 1997, their Dad and I would be divorced but neither of us remarried. In addition to the happy memories of each wedding, I also carry the memory of a rather big fight that got physical the day before Josh’s wedding between his Dad and myself that ruined what was otherwise a perfect day. On the day of Jessica’s wedding, my grandmother died and that was the first time her Dad had brought his new girlfriend to a “family” event and I felt shamed and embarrassed at the same time. Jenny’s wedding was memorable for another reason because I had to see someone that day (her biological Father, but that’s another story because he was not her “Father” but more of a “donor” although I had loved him dearly) that I could have lived the remainder of my life without seeing but there he was, right in front of my face, as he should have been. I was happy for Jen's sake that he was there and maybe for his, too. Not wanting to see him and not loving him are two separate issues and perhaps another story for somewhere down the road.
Life’s funny, isn’t it? For every bit of joy and happiness allotted to me comes a little bit of darkness. I have a choice to focus on that darkness or remember the joy and beauty of those moments. I haven’t forgotten the moments of darkness but they were not the DEFINING moments of the day. They were only moments, along with all the others that were included in that day. I can’t forget them because they happened but I can choose to tuck them away in a dark corner and just let them sit there with the other dark memories. Their corner is a part of the room but such a smaller part of a large, well-lit room.
My dream for my children came true as each of them have found peace, happiness, joy and a good friend to walk beside them as their mate. My three little bundles of possibility, hearts of my heart. What an adventure being their Mother has been and one I would not have any way other than the way it has been, even with the little dark corner filled with the sadnesses and pain, betrayals and missteps. It’s MY dark corner and I own it. Sometimes, I think of my life as a house and sometimes I think of my life as a journey, one long road trip.
The beginning of journey occurs when we draw our first breath and there’s not much we can control about our journey in the beginning but perhaps we have that set up before we make our entrance onto the road. Somewhere down that road, we learn about choices and consequences and it is at that point in time, we begin to chart our own coarse. Looking back, with a wizened eye, I can see each side road and what brought me to it and I can see that each side road had a beauty of it’s own. I went through many scary forests and deep rivers,mucky swamps and barren deserts to get to the place I am today. I look forward to the reminder of the journey which could end in minutes, hours, days or years and I’m ready for anything.
There were times along the journey when I felt like pulling off the road, closing up the house and calling it a day. I went through great depressions but I always made myself get back on the road even if I had to claw my way back to it. I made myself remember that it IS a great day to be alive in America and tomorrow IS a new day. Not just were my beautiful children bundles of possibilities but EVERY DAY is a new bundle of possibility. If I gave my children nothing else for their own journey, I pray that HOPE is the gift I gave to them and the gift they pass along to their own children. Faith, hope and charity are fuel for the journey.
EVERY DAY is a bundle of possibility and if life throws little bits of darkness our way, so be it. Somewhere down the road, we can look back in that corner, remembering the pain but not wallowing in it and if we choose, we can remember all of the light of that day, too. Surely the light is stronger than the darkness. We realize this even moreso somewhere down the road.
Daily, I remind myself to keep the focus on the positive and live the life you dream and dream the life you want to live.
I think I wrote this for myself because I have been forgetting to dream and my car has stalled and the drape fell over the window of my room making it all dark. Now, it's time to jumpstart the car, pull back the curtain and get back on the road to see what’s up ahead. Looks like sunshine with a slight chance of rain!
Namaste
Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Friday, October 30, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Painting with the Ladies
I made it to the group painting session at Anita's ArtsCool today and it was a total blast. I enjoyed meeting the other artists and watching their process as I was going through mine. Just getting out the door was an adventure and I went through the house like a mad woman getting my stuff together, leaving drawers open and items out that should have been put away but I was in a tear to leave and I had worked until past the "very last" moment before leaving. I always seem to believe a minute has more than 60 seconds or that an hour is longer than it really is because I am always "just a minute or two" late for EVERYTHING. Story of my life.
I got up at 5:00am and started my morning meditations and then my brother called so I talked to him for a while. Back to my morning meditations and when I finished around 8:00am, I came in and started working on my flyers again. I had made two, one for the Artist's Way workshop and another for the other three workshops I am planning. After doing some printing, I decided it would be more cost effective to put all of the workshops on one page instead of two so now it has to be redesigned again. I haven't done that yet. What I spent my time on, for the most part, was a redesign of the order form. I finished that up around 9:50am knowing it would only take me 5 minutes to get to Anita's ArtsCool from my house.
I started getting my stuff together. Pulled a painted canvas out from under the futon to overpaint since I don't have a blank one available. Then, into my drawers for the paints to take with me. I had to completely pull out the bottom drawer of the cabinet I keep my paints in because it's under my work table. I left that drawer laying out on the floor next to my work table. Next, which brushes should I take? Where to put it all? In a grocery bag...nah, too amateurish. Dug through the closet to find my trusty, roomy old black leather briefcase from my consulting days and was happy to find everything fit nicely. It was under a stack of other things that are now laying outside my closet door in a heap. Oh my gosh, forgot that I was planning on coloring my hair this morning while doing my morning meditations (trying to be a multi-tasker just didn't seem to work for me this morning) so I started looking for an appropriate hat to cover my sad-looking hair. On the top shelf of the bookcase I keep in my closet for extra folded clothes is where all my hats are located and wouldn't you know it...the one I wanted was on the bottom of all the other hats so there's also a pile of hats on the floor outside my closet. My room is now a collection of "piles" of "stuff" that needs to be put away.
By now, Wizzie knows something is going on and he's following me around like the puppy dog he is because he's wanting to take a walk but it's raining so I take him out to the front porch and put him on his tether to let him stay outside while I'm gone. He has water and a bed there and he'll be dry and comfortable and can go off the porch to relieve himself if needs to instead of peeing in my house because I was too busy to take him out for a walk as I should have and I wasn't looking forward to piles of stuff AND a wet mess to clean up when I got back home.
Next, I go looking for my IPOD as I love painting to music and find it where it should be, wonder of wonders and threw it in my bag. Then, I grab my stuff and out the door I go and I'm only 10 minutes late. By the time I got there, I was frazzled and 15 minutes late but no one had even started painting yet which was a good thing. Before I got out of the car, I took a moment to go into total relaxation and breathed deeply five times before opening the door and walking in with a big smile on my face and my black cap on my head so no one could see my hair with grey roots showing prominently, canvas under my arm and "professional-looking" briefcase in my other hand filled with paints, brushes, etc. I probably looked like it was something I did every day! No one knew I'd left a trail of destruction in my path just to get there.
Anita introduced me to all of the ladies, who were very friendly and then I found my spot and laid out some newspaper and put down my canvas on a flat surface. I pulled out my IPOD, strapped it on my arm and pressed MENU and nothing happened. So, the battery is dead which means NO MUSIC as usual and I had a brief moment of panic because it is the music infusing my soul that allows the connection between the "oneness" and my canvas. Oh well, I take that as a sign that I wasn't MEANT to listen to my IPOD so that leaves me the opportunity to communicate more with others as I paint. I believe it was Divine intervention that I not cut myself off from everyone else and pull from their energy instead and it worked out beautifullly. Thank you, God!
I SHOULD have used an easel because two hours of bending over the table to paint created a little problem for me that I felt AFTER I left at 1:30pm. I had so much fun there and did a couple more moments of deep breathing and closed my eyes and started letting the energy of the room, the people and the moment seep into my soul so I could create. There was nice background music playing which was a joy to me since my IPOD was dead. Now, all of the artists got busy. Some were using watercolors, some acrylics (like me), some were using oils and one lady was doing a painting on silk. It was a very interesting process and I could easily tell how beautiful it will be when finished.
The painting session was supposed to last from 10:00am-12:00pm but we painted until around 12:30pm and I think I was one of the first to start my cleaning up process so the time is flexible from what I can tell. Afterwards, there was a delightful critique session. One of the local artists who has a rather large following came to oversee the critique and she was set up in a director's chair directly in from of a large easel. We'd all put our work on one of the tables if we wanted a critique and another artist acted as facilitator and put each piece of art on the easel, one at a time in front of the "Director Artist" and then she offered her critique first before the floor was opened to anyone else who may have some suggestions regarding the piece on the easel. By now, there were about 15 artists in the room, all women. Lots of Yin energy in the room and it was lovely.
The critique portion lasted for about an hour and it was very exciting to me to be a part of it all. My painting was well received and it made me feel good to hear other artists say nice things about it and I received one very good suggestion which I will incorporate into my painting next week when I go again. I wasn't too emotionally attached to it and was open to any comments from anyone there as they all certainly know a lot more than I do about this process. I just PAINT for the love of being in "color" and "energy" and I was proud that a fairly good piece came out this morning in such a small amount of time.
I enjoyed myself immensely and was happy I finally got around to going to the sessions. Anita invited me months ago and today is the first day I went and I will go again and often. I look forward to getting to know the ladies better as time goes on and my finances permit me to participate. It was one of those times I couldn't think of anything I would want to be doing more. I want to manifest more opportunities like this for myself and believe the "Universe will provide." If I never went again, I would have such a wonderful memory tucked away inside of that I can pull on that now when I need a "happy thought." (I actually have a very large cache of these type of thoughts!) This was a very talented group of women and I was just happy to be there with them, creating right along with those who were so much better and much more experienced artists than me. I learned that everyone is a little insecure about their work and how it will be received, not just ME! It was an "eureka" moment, for sure.
Afterwards, the artists usually go to lunch together but I didn't want to participate today as I was feeling a bit unsettled about how I'd left everything at home. I stopped at the new Dillard's Bar-b-que and got a rib sandwich to bring home (thank you, Sister!) and eat in peaceful silence. As soon as I walked in I let my Wizzie into the house and he was so happy to see me that it warmed my heart. I swear I love that dog of mine as much as I love any other member of my family and he ALWAYS loves me no matter what I do (like not taking the time to give him a proper walk this morning). I often joke and say that if I knew "then" what I know "now" about having a pet, I'd have gotten a dog instead of getting married! Maybe it's not really a joke? Ah, but then I wouldn't have gotten the three wonderful children and six grandchildren that make my life full and rich.
I sat down at the table and ate my sandwich, giving Wiz the two rib bones which he enjoyed unabashedly. I was happy to share with him. As I was sitting there eating, I felt the stab of pain in my back and thought, uh-oh. Now I'm paying for bending over the table for over two hours while I was painting. Instead of cleaning up the piles and messes I left in my wake this morning, I took two Advil, turned my electric blanket to high, stripped down and crawled into bed thinking I'd have a little nap before tidying up my house. Just as I dozed off the phone rang. It was my daughter Jenny calling to schedule time for next week to talk about her wedding WHICH IS IN THREE WEEKS. I took that call and turned over to snuggle back down and just as I dozed off the phone rang again. It was my daughter-in-law in Denver calling to talk about the plans for the wedding WHICH IS IN THREE WEEKS. Plan? Hell, I don't know. I'm so out of the loop on the planning of this wedding it's like I'm hardly a part of it. That changes NOW! I hung up the phone from her and turned over to go to sleep but my mind was in gear thinking of what I need to do around the wedding.
I've scheduled the time with Jenny and Elliot for Tuesday night. We'll talk about menu's and decorations and logistics. I scheduled time to drive up to the mountains on Saturday to Elliot's Dad's place (a 2-hour drive) so I can see the "lay of the land" and talk to his folks about the "plan." they are getting married on his property which is called "the Briar Patch" and is a beautiful piece of land in the North Georgia mountains between Blue Ridge and Blairsville. We've got to have a "plan" and since I work best under pressure I know that by the end of the evening on Tuesday night, THE PLAN will be in place. I am not going to let myself get crazy around this as I want to enjoy and savor every moment of it as it's the last wedding I'll get to be a part of as a MOM. I still can't believe my baby is getting married nor has it sunk in that she's no longer my baby. My other two children I can relate to as adults but not my baby. I wanted to keep her under my wing for far longer than she was willing. Is it that way for all Mother's?
With my job situation being what it (or isn't) I haven't been able to participate in this wedding as much as I would have liked financially. I'll do what I can do which is help with THE PLAN. I'm grateful that her "other" family (and that's a story for another day) who has offered some financial assistance as it has really helped her make her wedding what she wants it to be. In the midst of all the wedding plans, they are also buying their first home together. What craziness all at once! Two of the most stressful things a person experiences in life and they are doing them both at the same time. Strong, young adults they are and I am impressed by them both. I guess that's one way to only have to be totally crazy once! Fortunately, Elliot's Dad is in a better position than Jen's parents (us) and he's helped them with the house. Her grandmother has helped her with a whopping gift that has helped in ways she doesn't even know and the beautiful dress has been paid for by "the other" Dad! It's all going to work out fine and I'm sure it will be a touching, beautiful, loving event enjoyed and remembered fondly by all of us and THE PLAN will work beautifully.
So, with all of that having been said. I'm leaving the mess, the grey streak in my head and taking two more Advil and going back to bed (turning off the ringer on the phone, too) and see if I can't wake up feeling refreshed and pain free so I can use my evening to pick up behind the Sabra that was in a tear to get out this morning and have one of the most fun times of her life! It was worth it.
Tomorrow night, I'm going to a lecture at the Fox Theatre by Dr. Zahi Hawass, the Secretary General of the Supreme Council of Antiquities" in Egypt. The lecture is entitled "Mysteries of Tutankhamun Revealed" and promises to be a wonderful evening. I've seen Dr. Hawass on several PBS and Discovery Channel programs and I am delighted to have an opportunity to see him speak in person. The "Treasures of Tutankhamun" exhibit is at the Atlanta Civic Center now and I viewed it and bought my tickets to see Dr. Hawass on the same day. I was a little disappointed in the exhibit only because it wasn't as extensive as the exhibit I was fortunate enough to see about 20 years ago when it was in San Francisco. They were running tours 24 hours a day and my husband and I had tickets for a week night at 1:30am and we were happy to have gotten them. It was an amazing experience and the exhibit included a lot more artifacts and jewelry than the current one in Atlanta.
Originally, Dr. Hawass' lecture was scheduled for the Atlanta Civic Center but because he had an emergency out of the country, it was rescheduled for a week later and changed to the Fox Theatre which delighted me as I love going to the Fox. It's a marvelous relic of days gone past, and an Atlanta landmark. Being there reminds me of one of my first memories of being in Atlanta and realizing it was a whole new world of wonder, far from the fishing village I moved from with a one-room library and no cultural activities AT ALL unless you include charter boat fishing as a cultural activity. We moved to Atlanta when I was 15 and my class took a field trip there to see an Opera (in Italian, no less). At that time, I was just a little hick from a very small town in Florida and Atlanta was a BIG city and the FOX was a cultural experience that opened my eyes to a whole new world. The Fox theatre is a magical place, built in the pre-crash 1920's and it's ornate and gloriously fabulous. I highly recommend seeing it if you're in Atlanta.
Every day is an adventure and something new and wonderful seems to happen for me every day. It's a wonderful world in which we live and there is so much to do and see if we only take the time. It's easy to get wrapped up and bogged down in life's "little messes." but I choose to keep my options open. I know that when I do my morning meditations AS I SHOULD then I can expect a miracle in my day and most days, many more than one miracle will occur for me. I expect a miracle and I'm never disappointed. Ask me about my sister coming by and sharing her love with me this morning in a way that was totally unexpected and totally appreciated. It started my day of miracles. And...it's not over yet! God is good!
I hope you are having a good day and looking for your own miracles. I have no doubt they are there for you. I'm sending a bubble love and light to all. A special bubble goes out to Anita's friend Rosemary who had surgery this morning and I'm lifting her up for a speedy recovery.
It IS a great day to be alive and all is well in my world.
Namaste!
I got up at 5:00am and started my morning meditations and then my brother called so I talked to him for a while. Back to my morning meditations and when I finished around 8:00am, I came in and started working on my flyers again. I had made two, one for the Artist's Way workshop and another for the other three workshops I am planning. After doing some printing, I decided it would be more cost effective to put all of the workshops on one page instead of two so now it has to be redesigned again. I haven't done that yet. What I spent my time on, for the most part, was a redesign of the order form. I finished that up around 9:50am knowing it would only take me 5 minutes to get to Anita's ArtsCool from my house.
I started getting my stuff together. Pulled a painted canvas out from under the futon to overpaint since I don't have a blank one available. Then, into my drawers for the paints to take with me. I had to completely pull out the bottom drawer of the cabinet I keep my paints in because it's under my work table. I left that drawer laying out on the floor next to my work table. Next, which brushes should I take? Where to put it all? In a grocery bag...nah, too amateurish. Dug through the closet to find my trusty, roomy old black leather briefcase from my consulting days and was happy to find everything fit nicely. It was under a stack of other things that are now laying outside my closet door in a heap. Oh my gosh, forgot that I was planning on coloring my hair this morning while doing my morning meditations (trying to be a multi-tasker just didn't seem to work for me this morning) so I started looking for an appropriate hat to cover my sad-looking hair. On the top shelf of the bookcase I keep in my closet for extra folded clothes is where all my hats are located and wouldn't you know it...the one I wanted was on the bottom of all the other hats so there's also a pile of hats on the floor outside my closet. My room is now a collection of "piles" of "stuff" that needs to be put away.
By now, Wizzie knows something is going on and he's following me around like the puppy dog he is because he's wanting to take a walk but it's raining so I take him out to the front porch and put him on his tether to let him stay outside while I'm gone. He has water and a bed there and he'll be dry and comfortable and can go off the porch to relieve himself if needs to instead of peeing in my house because I was too busy to take him out for a walk as I should have and I wasn't looking forward to piles of stuff AND a wet mess to clean up when I got back home.
Next, I go looking for my IPOD as I love painting to music and find it where it should be, wonder of wonders and threw it in my bag. Then, I grab my stuff and out the door I go and I'm only 10 minutes late. By the time I got there, I was frazzled and 15 minutes late but no one had even started painting yet which was a good thing. Before I got out of the car, I took a moment to go into total relaxation and breathed deeply five times before opening the door and walking in with a big smile on my face and my black cap on my head so no one could see my hair with grey roots showing prominently, canvas under my arm and "professional-looking" briefcase in my other hand filled with paints, brushes, etc. I probably looked like it was something I did every day! No one knew I'd left a trail of destruction in my path just to get there.
Anita introduced me to all of the ladies, who were very friendly and then I found my spot and laid out some newspaper and put down my canvas on a flat surface. I pulled out my IPOD, strapped it on my arm and pressed MENU and nothing happened. So, the battery is dead which means NO MUSIC as usual and I had a brief moment of panic because it is the music infusing my soul that allows the connection between the "oneness" and my canvas. Oh well, I take that as a sign that I wasn't MEANT to listen to my IPOD so that leaves me the opportunity to communicate more with others as I paint. I believe it was Divine intervention that I not cut myself off from everyone else and pull from their energy instead and it worked out beautifullly. Thank you, God!
I SHOULD have used an easel because two hours of bending over the table to paint created a little problem for me that I felt AFTER I left at 1:30pm. I had so much fun there and did a couple more moments of deep breathing and closed my eyes and started letting the energy of the room, the people and the moment seep into my soul so I could create. There was nice background music playing which was a joy to me since my IPOD was dead. Now, all of the artists got busy. Some were using watercolors, some acrylics (like me), some were using oils and one lady was doing a painting on silk. It was a very interesting process and I could easily tell how beautiful it will be when finished.
The painting session was supposed to last from 10:00am-12:00pm but we painted until around 12:30pm and I think I was one of the first to start my cleaning up process so the time is flexible from what I can tell. Afterwards, there was a delightful critique session. One of the local artists who has a rather large following came to oversee the critique and she was set up in a director's chair directly in from of a large easel. We'd all put our work on one of the tables if we wanted a critique and another artist acted as facilitator and put each piece of art on the easel, one at a time in front of the "Director Artist" and then she offered her critique first before the floor was opened to anyone else who may have some suggestions regarding the piece on the easel. By now, there were about 15 artists in the room, all women. Lots of Yin energy in the room and it was lovely.
The critique portion lasted for about an hour and it was very exciting to me to be a part of it all. My painting was well received and it made me feel good to hear other artists say nice things about it and I received one very good suggestion which I will incorporate into my painting next week when I go again. I wasn't too emotionally attached to it and was open to any comments from anyone there as they all certainly know a lot more than I do about this process. I just PAINT for the love of being in "color" and "energy" and I was proud that a fairly good piece came out this morning in such a small amount of time.
I enjoyed myself immensely and was happy I finally got around to going to the sessions. Anita invited me months ago and today is the first day I went and I will go again and often. I look forward to getting to know the ladies better as time goes on and my finances permit me to participate. It was one of those times I couldn't think of anything I would want to be doing more. I want to manifest more opportunities like this for myself and believe the "Universe will provide." If I never went again, I would have such a wonderful memory tucked away inside of that I can pull on that now when I need a "happy thought." (I actually have a very large cache of these type of thoughts!) This was a very talented group of women and I was just happy to be there with them, creating right along with those who were so much better and much more experienced artists than me. I learned that everyone is a little insecure about their work and how it will be received, not just ME! It was an "eureka" moment, for sure.
Afterwards, the artists usually go to lunch together but I didn't want to participate today as I was feeling a bit unsettled about how I'd left everything at home. I stopped at the new Dillard's Bar-b-que and got a rib sandwich to bring home (thank you, Sister!) and eat in peaceful silence. As soon as I walked in I let my Wizzie into the house and he was so happy to see me that it warmed my heart. I swear I love that dog of mine as much as I love any other member of my family and he ALWAYS loves me no matter what I do (like not taking the time to give him a proper walk this morning). I often joke and say that if I knew "then" what I know "now" about having a pet, I'd have gotten a dog instead of getting married! Maybe it's not really a joke? Ah, but then I wouldn't have gotten the three wonderful children and six grandchildren that make my life full and rich.
I sat down at the table and ate my sandwich, giving Wiz the two rib bones which he enjoyed unabashedly. I was happy to share with him. As I was sitting there eating, I felt the stab of pain in my back and thought, uh-oh. Now I'm paying for bending over the table for over two hours while I was painting. Instead of cleaning up the piles and messes I left in my wake this morning, I took two Advil, turned my electric blanket to high, stripped down and crawled into bed thinking I'd have a little nap before tidying up my house. Just as I dozed off the phone rang. It was my daughter Jenny calling to schedule time for next week to talk about her wedding WHICH IS IN THREE WEEKS. I took that call and turned over to snuggle back down and just as I dozed off the phone rang again. It was my daughter-in-law in Denver calling to talk about the plans for the wedding WHICH IS IN THREE WEEKS. Plan? Hell, I don't know. I'm so out of the loop on the planning of this wedding it's like I'm hardly a part of it. That changes NOW! I hung up the phone from her and turned over to go to sleep but my mind was in gear thinking of what I need to do around the wedding.
I've scheduled the time with Jenny and Elliot for Tuesday night. We'll talk about menu's and decorations and logistics. I scheduled time to drive up to the mountains on Saturday to Elliot's Dad's place (a 2-hour drive) so I can see the "lay of the land" and talk to his folks about the "plan." they are getting married on his property which is called "the Briar Patch" and is a beautiful piece of land in the North Georgia mountains between Blue Ridge and Blairsville. We've got to have a "plan" and since I work best under pressure I know that by the end of the evening on Tuesday night, THE PLAN will be in place. I am not going to let myself get crazy around this as I want to enjoy and savor every moment of it as it's the last wedding I'll get to be a part of as a MOM. I still can't believe my baby is getting married nor has it sunk in that she's no longer my baby. My other two children I can relate to as adults but not my baby. I wanted to keep her under my wing for far longer than she was willing. Is it that way for all Mother's?
With my job situation being what it (or isn't) I haven't been able to participate in this wedding as much as I would have liked financially. I'll do what I can do which is help with THE PLAN. I'm grateful that her "other" family (and that's a story for another day) who has offered some financial assistance as it has really helped her make her wedding what she wants it to be. In the midst of all the wedding plans, they are also buying their first home together. What craziness all at once! Two of the most stressful things a person experiences in life and they are doing them both at the same time. Strong, young adults they are and I am impressed by them both. I guess that's one way to only have to be totally crazy once! Fortunately, Elliot's Dad is in a better position than Jen's parents (us) and he's helped them with the house. Her grandmother has helped her with a whopping gift that has helped in ways she doesn't even know and the beautiful dress has been paid for by "the other" Dad! It's all going to work out fine and I'm sure it will be a touching, beautiful, loving event enjoyed and remembered fondly by all of us and THE PLAN will work beautifully.
So, with all of that having been said. I'm leaving the mess, the grey streak in my head and taking two more Advil and going back to bed (turning off the ringer on the phone, too) and see if I can't wake up feeling refreshed and pain free so I can use my evening to pick up behind the Sabra that was in a tear to get out this morning and have one of the most fun times of her life! It was worth it.
Tomorrow night, I'm going to a lecture at the Fox Theatre by Dr. Zahi Hawass, the Secretary General of the Supreme Council of Antiquities" in Egypt. The lecture is entitled "Mysteries of Tutankhamun Revealed" and promises to be a wonderful evening. I've seen Dr. Hawass on several PBS and Discovery Channel programs and I am delighted to have an opportunity to see him speak in person. The "Treasures of Tutankhamun" exhibit is at the Atlanta Civic Center now and I viewed it and bought my tickets to see Dr. Hawass on the same day. I was a little disappointed in the exhibit only because it wasn't as extensive as the exhibit I was fortunate enough to see about 20 years ago when it was in San Francisco. They were running tours 24 hours a day and my husband and I had tickets for a week night at 1:30am and we were happy to have gotten them. It was an amazing experience and the exhibit included a lot more artifacts and jewelry than the current one in Atlanta.
Originally, Dr. Hawass' lecture was scheduled for the Atlanta Civic Center but because he had an emergency out of the country, it was rescheduled for a week later and changed to the Fox Theatre which delighted me as I love going to the Fox. It's a marvelous relic of days gone past, and an Atlanta landmark. Being there reminds me of one of my first memories of being in Atlanta and realizing it was a whole new world of wonder, far from the fishing village I moved from with a one-room library and no cultural activities AT ALL unless you include charter boat fishing as a cultural activity. We moved to Atlanta when I was 15 and my class took a field trip there to see an Opera (in Italian, no less). At that time, I was just a little hick from a very small town in Florida and Atlanta was a BIG city and the FOX was a cultural experience that opened my eyes to a whole new world. The Fox theatre is a magical place, built in the pre-crash 1920's and it's ornate and gloriously fabulous. I highly recommend seeing it if you're in Atlanta.
Every day is an adventure and something new and wonderful seems to happen for me every day. It's a wonderful world in which we live and there is so much to do and see if we only take the time. It's easy to get wrapped up and bogged down in life's "little messes." but I choose to keep my options open. I know that when I do my morning meditations AS I SHOULD then I can expect a miracle in my day and most days, many more than one miracle will occur for me. I expect a miracle and I'm never disappointed. Ask me about my sister coming by and sharing her love with me this morning in a way that was totally unexpected and totally appreciated. It started my day of miracles. And...it's not over yet! God is good!
I hope you are having a good day and looking for your own miracles. I have no doubt they are there for you. I'm sending a bubble love and light to all. A special bubble goes out to Anita's friend Rosemary who had surgery this morning and I'm lifting her up for a speedy recovery.
It IS a great day to be alive and all is well in my world.
Namaste!
Monday, March 23, 2009
Monday unfolding...
I've been up and busy since 4:15am. I completed my "morning work" and then worked on my book for a while before going online and checking my e-mail. I had an e-mail from Facebook so clicked on the link and added a friend and then starting a search for "artist's groups" in the area and was so heartened to see a LOT of groups in the area. I joined a few, posted a few notices about the upcoming workshop I'm facilitating and looked at what other artist's are doing. It was enlightening and inspiring.
As always, my morning meditations have me "fired up" and ready to go and I'm having to rein myself in and FOCUS because my mind is sprinting in too many different directions.
So...deep breath, relaxing, centering and focusing on this blog!
I didn't create this weekend because I was fortunate enough to have young energy to enjoy. Three of my grandchildren spent Saturday and Sunday with me. I took them to Buford Dam and had a picnic on a sandy bank, under a tree, by the Chattahoochee River. It was a warm, Sunny Spring day and I let them roll up their pants and get their feet in the water. We took a hike and they hugged a tree (my grandson, Ayden who was having his 10th birthday asked me if this meant he was a real "tree hugger" and made me laugh!). We thanked the tree for it's loving energy and I had them close their eyes on more than one occasion to "see" what they felt without "seeing" literally. Children are so wonderful to be around because they are spontaneous, uninhibited, honest and innocent. I enjoy sitting back and observing them just "be" because as adults, we sometimes are so busy doing that we forget the joy of just being. I didn't mind not creating this weekend because their energy is such a gift to me.
On Wednesday I am going to paint with a group of ladies. I've been trying to get over to paint with them for months but am going to MAKE it happen this Wednesday. I am only familiar with one of the women as an aquaintance but she is very interesting to me and is a professional artist as well as a business owner promoting the learning of art in several different media. I know I can learn from her and the others in the group and hopefully I will add an integral, positive element to the group, too.
Thursday night I am going to see Dr. Zahi Hawass speak at the Fox Theatre in Atlanta and I am soooooooooo excited. He's talking about the mysteries of Egypt and I have decided that my next trip (after my Colorado River rafting trip) must be to see the pyramids. I'd love to hear from anyone who had already had the experience and know how it affected and changed them as a person.
I can see it is going to be a beautiful day and part of me wants to throw on my "yard" clothes and get out there and pull some weeds and work on my beds. I was gone a lot through the winter and now that it's Spring, my yard is calling. Yesterday, I noticed the dogwoods starting to bloom and my lilies and other perennials are starting to peep through the ground. I planted a Thundercloud Plum tree last Fall and already it delighted me with pink blooms and now the red leaves are starting to grow in. The tops of the tall trees are greening and buds are popping out on everything. This is such an exciting time of year to me. My hyacinths are glorious and the scent divine and the daffodils contine to delight.
Okay...FOCUS! I got an order out on Friday and that felt very good to me. I designed my invoices, two marketing flyers for the Mind/Body/Spirit workshops and the "Artist's Way" workshops and finished the artist's bio (well...at least it's a good start...and I've already shared that with you).
Spoke to my CPA on Sunday (the man works 365 days a year, I think) and looks like I will be able to help with the upcoming wedding (my daughter) and finance some weekend art shows. I understand the meaning of "starving artist" but know it's a process. I am reminded to take things step-by-step and lay a good foundation and then all will fall in to place. Life gives me all that I need to be happy and everything comes to me at the proper time. I believe it.
My youngest child is getting married on April 18th and it will be a sweet, intimate event in a natural setting. They are getting married out-of-doors and it will be sweet and simple and a real celebration of love. Fortunately, all of my children seem to have the perfect mates and God is good. When my children are happy, I am happy! I express my gratitude to God daily for their happiness and health.
So, moving in to my day now with a full plate open to all the goodness that is coming this way! It IS a great day to be alive and I am expecting a miracle today. Sending a bubble light to everyone! Smile often and keep a grateful heart.
Namaste!
As always, my morning meditations have me "fired up" and ready to go and I'm having to rein myself in and FOCUS because my mind is sprinting in too many different directions.
So...deep breath, relaxing, centering and focusing on this blog!
I didn't create this weekend because I was fortunate enough to have young energy to enjoy. Three of my grandchildren spent Saturday and Sunday with me. I took them to Buford Dam and had a picnic on a sandy bank, under a tree, by the Chattahoochee River. It was a warm, Sunny Spring day and I let them roll up their pants and get their feet in the water. We took a hike and they hugged a tree (my grandson, Ayden who was having his 10th birthday asked me if this meant he was a real "tree hugger" and made me laugh!). We thanked the tree for it's loving energy and I had them close their eyes on more than one occasion to "see" what they felt without "seeing" literally. Children are so wonderful to be around because they are spontaneous, uninhibited, honest and innocent. I enjoy sitting back and observing them just "be" because as adults, we sometimes are so busy doing that we forget the joy of just being. I didn't mind not creating this weekend because their energy is such a gift to me.
On Wednesday I am going to paint with a group of ladies. I've been trying to get over to paint with them for months but am going to MAKE it happen this Wednesday. I am only familiar with one of the women as an aquaintance but she is very interesting to me and is a professional artist as well as a business owner promoting the learning of art in several different media. I know I can learn from her and the others in the group and hopefully I will add an integral, positive element to the group, too.
Thursday night I am going to see Dr. Zahi Hawass speak at the Fox Theatre in Atlanta and I am soooooooooo excited. He's talking about the mysteries of Egypt and I have decided that my next trip (after my Colorado River rafting trip) must be to see the pyramids. I'd love to hear from anyone who had already had the experience and know how it affected and changed them as a person.
I can see it is going to be a beautiful day and part of me wants to throw on my "yard" clothes and get out there and pull some weeds and work on my beds. I was gone a lot through the winter and now that it's Spring, my yard is calling. Yesterday, I noticed the dogwoods starting to bloom and my lilies and other perennials are starting to peep through the ground. I planted a Thundercloud Plum tree last Fall and already it delighted me with pink blooms and now the red leaves are starting to grow in. The tops of the tall trees are greening and buds are popping out on everything. This is such an exciting time of year to me. My hyacinths are glorious and the scent divine and the daffodils contine to delight.
Okay...FOCUS! I got an order out on Friday and that felt very good to me. I designed my invoices, two marketing flyers for the Mind/Body/Spirit workshops and the "Artist's Way" workshops and finished the artist's bio (well...at least it's a good start...and I've already shared that with you).
Spoke to my CPA on Sunday (the man works 365 days a year, I think) and looks like I will be able to help with the upcoming wedding (my daughter) and finance some weekend art shows. I understand the meaning of "starving artist" but know it's a process. I am reminded to take things step-by-step and lay a good foundation and then all will fall in to place. Life gives me all that I need to be happy and everything comes to me at the proper time. I believe it.
My youngest child is getting married on April 18th and it will be a sweet, intimate event in a natural setting. They are getting married out-of-doors and it will be sweet and simple and a real celebration of love. Fortunately, all of my children seem to have the perfect mates and God is good. When my children are happy, I am happy! I express my gratitude to God daily for their happiness and health.
So, moving in to my day now with a full plate open to all the goodness that is coming this way! It IS a great day to be alive and I am expecting a miracle today. Sending a bubble light to everyone! Smile often and keep a grateful heart.
Namaste!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)