There is always hope...

One of my favorite sayings is "Hope is the little bird who feels the sun and sings though the dawn be dark!" Holding to that hope has gotten me through some dark times and I was trying so hard to feel the sun and sing although my voice was cracking with the effort. The events of the past couple of months have really tested my faith and my ability to cling to that hope. I've felt like Rose from "Titanic," clinging to that piece of wood and realizing she has lost someone so close and dear to her heart and fearing she may not be rescued or even survive. But...she was and she lived on and so shall I!

I am always striving to live my life from a place of gratitude, faith in God and that "The Universe" will provide and part of the reason I try so hard is because I know that I am setting an example not only for my children but my friends who also face their dark times. I want to be a good example and live by doing and if I can help someone else then I am so joyful.

I had one of my darkest moments last week and an Angel came to my rescue and I realized that there have been many angels in my life and when I sat down to list them and to thank God for my many blessings, I realized that it wasn't as dark as it had seemed only moments ago. Nothing changed except my realization...my "feeling the sun and singing." Even in the midst of that dark moment, I was praying for the strength to accept that if what I wanted and needed to happen did NOT happen, then God certainly had something even better in store for me. I wasn't able to see it and when you're staring down a dark tunnel with no light at the end of it, it is hard to feel that sun and sing. Yet that is when we most need to sing the loudest because we need to hear our own voice singing.

I guess I've lived long enough to understand the meaning of living in the moment. I still want to have a plan, and I do. I have dreams and goals, even though I don't see the means to the end, I hang on to those dreams and goals. I understand that I have only THIS MINUTE, this RIGHT NOW and if I can just stay in it, keep doing the things that I know I need to do but staying in this minute, I can feel the sun. I can sing.

I accept the responsibility for my own life. I accept the responsibility for my own happiness. I also accept that I have made mistakes that have led me to place where I feel I am at the point of no return. That's when I have to remember that little bird and I remind myself to "Expect a Miracle." So many miracles have occurred in my life and the most recent one, totally unexpected, brought me to my knees. I could feel God upon me or maybe it was an angel wrapping her wings around me but I definitely felt something when I was "rescued" for a moment.

I am a strong person, a strong personality and I have a strong faith but I can't say that I never waver in any of things. Sometimes, it is OKAY to be rescued. It's like a rest or a pause and it is a leveling occurrence. Just like being on a teeter-totter it is important to be up as often as it is to be down because that's what makes it fun!

I have been very aggressive in my job search for the past two weeks. I had thought I was being aggressive before but I realize now that I was not pushing as hard as I could have and necessity being the mother of invention, I have been hard on it every day and am finally starting to see some benefits of my efforts. I expect that I will have the perfect job position for me within the next two weeks. I affirm it and so it is!

I have been in contact with a number of recruiters and what surprises me is that the level of professionalism exhibited and follow-up by many of them is much less than it was last time I worked with a recruiter. I think my age may be a factor but I have experience, health and a number of good "working" years left in me and there is hardly anything that I have not done as an Executive support person and as an Office Manager/Bookkeeper. I would hire me in a minute if I would looking for a support person. I have excellent customer service skills, I communicate well in writing and orally, I am dependable, trustworthy, discreet with confidential materials and I am loyal. Now what more could any employer want except that I be 10 or 20 years younger? I'd take the experience over the youth any day if I were in a hiring position, wouldn't you?

I will keep you up to date when that perfect job appears, as it will! I have interviews Wednesday and Thursday of this week and I've got several other irons in the fire so I know SOMETHING is going to happen for me soon because I can feel that sun and I am singing like a Lark!

Wishing you the warmth of the sun and the beauty of the song of a bird. Expect a miracle and don't discount it when it comes your way, because it will! It IS a great day to be alive and the best...is...yet...to...come!

I AM FEELING THE SUN AND SINGING, I AM!


Namaste

Look to the future in a spirit of trust...01/16/2011

Sunday, and it is a beautiful day with the sun shining and the snow melting and I can see my driveway from top to bottom! There are still patches of snow, which are pretty, but I think I've had my quota of snow for this winter season!

I had a good time visiting with my friend, JT, at P.F. Chang's yesterday. I was a few minutes late (no surprise there) and almost as soon as I sat down they served the calamari she'd ordered for us and I was singing her praises. JT is very dependable. Not only was she there ON TIME but I'll bet she was a few minutes early. She's my inspiration for more reasons than one.

We had a darling, young red-haired server named Diedrich who became even more darling when he managed to serve my ice cold Cosmo in record time! P.F. Chang's is a traditional meeting place for my friends and me. They have the very best Cosmo in town, as far as I am concerned, and their appetizers are awesome!

I hadn't seen JT in several months so we had a pleasant "happy new year" reunion. She's a writer and an artist although she calls it her "business." She is one of those rare persons who functions on both sides of the brain equally well. In appearance, she's very conservative but her thinking is outside the box! She has a great sense of humor and I find myself chuckling when I'm on my way home at something she said that was so unexpected. I learned yesterday that she had once taken an improv class. I always learn something new about her every time we are together and she is amazing. At first, I thought she was quiet and shy. Once I got to know her better, I realized she is just quiet and peaceful and has a wonderful, open mind but she's not really shy. She is very interested in everything in L~I~F~E and open to exploring spiritual and metaphysical subjects which I totally enjoy. She is structured and that's something I could use more of in my life but at this point, I doubt it going to happen. Maybe in my next incarnation? She's always on time (unlike me) and she approaches things in a step-by-step way (unlike me). There is much I can learn from her! I feel blessed to have her in my life and I'm happy she is my friend. We're salt and pepper but together we season things well!

She has a new hobby (remember, ART is her BUSINESS) and it is knitting. She gave me a knitted hat yesterday and I was so touched. She said it's only the third one she's made but it is adorable and I love it! I had her take this picture of me with my new knitted hat as we left the restaurant yesterday. Perfect fit!

After lunch, we said our goodbyes and JT went next door to Barnes and Nobles and I drove to Loganville. I spent time with my children and grandchildren because it always makes me happy to be around them. It feels like fresh air blowing through me when I'm with them. They always lift my spirit, even when it doesn't need lifting and a hug from one of them is like a grand treat to me and I do not take their love for granted EVER!

Yesterday was a very good day! On in to today and it is 11:11am (hm!?!) and I completed my morning work with the message to look to "look to the future in a spirit of trust!"
JT and I talked about that a little yesterday when we approached the "birds falling from the sky" and "2012" subject. We both agreed that we are not going to live in FEAR and if it is the "apocalypse" or "end times" or whatever the doomsayers want to call it, we are not going to change a thing about the way we live our lives because we are living in gratitude and love on a daily basis. I asked her what she would do different if she knew the world was going to end on 12/21/2012 (my mother's 82nd birthday, by the way) and she said "absolutely nothing." I'm with her. We already know how important it is to start each day in a positive way and to tell/show those we love how much we care in every way we can. We enjoy every minute and we look to the future "in a spirit of trust." We help each other be mindful and that's a good thing for friends to do for and with each other.

I have had friends who are negative and want to argue about everything, especially political or religious. What a waste of time, in my opinion. I got sucked in to it for a while but I quickly realized that was not a place I wanted to be and those friends went by the by. Glad they "passed through" my life and I don't look back. Not any more! It's not that I am ungrateful for each person that has been in my life because in the "soup" of it, they've been meat and potatoes, too. Sometimes though, when the soup's not quite right, it's best to throw it out and start all over, remembering NOT to use a particular ingredient again! Live and learn, Sisters and Brothers, live and learn!

I woke up this morning, got my coffee, came back to bed and turned on the tv and "Dear John" was on HBO. So, I watched it. I've seen it in bits and pieces but I never saw the beginning or the ending...just bits and pieces. It was another "happily ever after" ending but there was so much agony in between the "fall in love" and "we get to be together finally" part that it almost felt real to me. I'm glad I took the time to watch it because I enjoyed it and my heart was warmed. I may be 60 and I've had a really good life and I may alone now and thoroughly enjoying it BUT...and it's a big BUT...I do "look to the future in a spirit of trust!" I know there's a plan for me and I know I won't spend the last few years of my life alone. In fact, I know there's a whole new exciting time about to happen in my life. It will be within the next five years,or sooner and I'll keep you posted. I AM looking to the future in a spirit of trust and I am living TODAY in the same spirit.

Today I am making a pot of red beans and rice because that's what my Mom requested. I love red beans and rice, too and I grew up eating lots of fish and lots of beans. Fish were plentiful as I was in the "luckiest fishing village in the world" and beans were cheap because growing up there meant "service" industry and people in the "service" industry don't make a lot of money. Little did we realize that those are two of the best things to put into the body and today I pay big dollars for that prized piece of fresh fish. Beans are still cheap but I realize the value of them now and for bang for the buck, they are one of the best deals at the market!

I am also continuing work on my "project." Now that I have a big mess in EVERY room, I don't know where to begin but I'll figure it out today, or tomorrow, or the next day. (Time to channel JT and take one step at a time!) So, to that end, I'll get on with the day. Geez, it's half over and I'm still sitting her in my gown with my hair sticking up in 90 different directions. Oh, does that feel delicious!

The message from my "morning work" was this: (S)Enjoy today. (M)Trust in spirituality and all encompassing love. (B)Look to the future in a spirit of trust. So I move into the day being mindful of joy and trust.

Tomorrow, I reschedule the job interview AND drive to Gainesville to apply for unemployment. I'm curious to see what's going to come my way next week but I know it's all good! I TRUST in a good result!

Always remember, it IS a great day to be alive and the best is yet to come! Namaste, my friends.

A Taste of Freedom...01/15/2011

I don't have much time to write this morning but I am trying to keep my promise of being consistent so I am making the time to do this. It will shorten my shower but I'm not that dirty anyhow and who needs makeup?

I am feeling giddy that I am getting out of the house today. Five days of being homebound were beginning to wear on me. I had lots of projects to complete and I still have lots of projects to complete because all I managed to do was make a huge mess by tearing things out of closets, off of bookshelves and now, it's worse than before I began but there is the POSSIBILITY of a great thing happening here and I'm all about possibilities. To go with that is the PROBABILITY and I know it will happen but I just can't say when.

I seem to work best under pressure and since I have my Creative Cluster forming here on Tuesday, I'll have it all back together before then, probably in a tear on Monday and on Tuesday morning but I WILL get it done. I know that about myself and accept it. It's one of the benefits of living alone. No one to berate me for leaving things "out of place" longer than they should be. I think I do it just for the joy of that fact?! Not really. Basically, I think I've just been lazy. Yep, that's it and it has been wonderful!

I'm meeting a friend for lunch today at P.F. Chang's and I'm looking forward to a nice visit while enjoying some lettuce wraps and a couple of ice cold Cosmos. Then, I'm going to take Sabra to a movie and afterwards, I'll drive to Loganville to visit my children and grandchildren. It's shaping up to be a great day OUTSIDE of the house.

Part of me feels badly for Mom because she'll be stuck here by herself but there's nothing to be done for it today. Maybe my brother will come over and visit her or my sister. She'd like that and they could look at my "reorganization projects" (mess) and feel superior because their houses are in order. That's okay. I'm cool with it! What are sisters for if not to make her siblings feel better about themselves! :-)

I didn't do my morning work but I did watch the movie "Legion" this morning. It made me think about hope and faith, two things of which I'm full of for many different things. In fact, I think those are two of my best features. Today, I hope I can get down my driveway and I have faith that I am going to have a great time with other people! I guess hope and faith can work in a lot of different ways. They go hand in hand. In the movie, the hero is asked why he keeps on hoping when he knows all hope is lost. Well, duh. He HOPES so obviously all hope isn't lost and his faith in love and his hope for love are what saves the day for mankind although at the end, when he's driving down the road with the woman who is the object of his affection and the baby who has a mighty journey ahead, it looks so sweet with the three of them and looks like he's gotten all his dreams come true. Then, it pans to the back of the car and it's loaded down with machine guns. Hmmm...I guess faith and hope are good things to have but a machine gun is good for back up when all else fails. Guess I'll get one when I'm at the mall today.

Well, Wiz is whining and I need to jump in the shower so I'll conclude by wishing you a terrific day, filled with hope and faith! (Forget the guns! I'm really more of a "flower power" person!).

It IS a great day to be alive and the best is yet to come! Namaste!